Salty Sweet
by shiksa
Summary: I can't move on. They both miss him so much but they need to move on with their lives. They need each other. Rated M for language and mature subjects. I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS. AxelxSora. Some AkuRoku.
1. Chapter 1

So since "There's Something Wrong With Me" is almost over, I decided to start another story! I hope you guys like this one too.

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He always tried to stay strong. He wasn't the type to show his real emotions unless it was anger. But behind that sardonic shield, there was a human being. There was a heart that no one got to see. Except for me. All I could do was sit and watch him sit there and cry. It was unbelievable that he was crying in front of people, my family and friends and everyone who knew him. He still tried to hide it somewhat but it wasn't working. I guess he just didn't care anymore. He had nothing left to care about. It sounds vain of me to think, but now that I was gone, he had nothing left.

"Axel?" He looked up abruptly and wiped his eyes. He hoped no one noticed him sobbing quietly on the folding chair.

"Yea?" Axel asked and moved over so Sora could sit down next to him. He tried not to look at him for multiple reasons. His eyes were red, his face was covered with tears and Sora looked too much like me which would only make him burst into another fit of sobs.

"Axel, are you ok?" Sora rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. "That was a dumb question. Sorry. Can I do anything?"

"No, I'm a-alright." Axel took a deep breath and lifted his head up to try and smile at my brother. "I'm just being a big baby."

"No you're not. I mean I understand Axel...we all miss Roxas." The redhead could only nod and hold everything in. He tried not to cry anymore. He felt like an idiot but he couldn't seem to stop. "It's ok...to be upset." Sora stopped himself and squeezed his eyes shut. He may not be as "manly" as Axel, but he didn't want anyone to see him crying either. But he couldn't stop himself. He quietly whimpered, earning a strange look from Axel. "Sorry I just uh I'm upset." Sora shrugged and pulled a tissue out of his pocket.

"Like you said, I get it. I'm upset too man." Axel tried to smile some and Sora couldn't help it as his lips turned up slightly. "Come here." Axel wrapped his arm around the younger boy's shoulder and pulled him against him. "I know it sucks now but it's gonna be ok. I promise. I've lost a lot of people and all you need is time."

"Axel, I want it to stop hurting." Sora cried onto his shoulder as a comforting hand rubbed his back. "I've never felt anything like this. I didn't realize how much it would hurt."

"I promise it'll stop. I promise." Axel wanted it to be true but this time around he wasn't sure if it was true. It wasn't like this any other time something bad had happened in his life. He had gone through so much shit and this just wasn't fair. Nothing had hurt like this. He felt like he had a hole running through him. Through his heart, his soul, everything. Part of him was missing. He couldn't feel me anymore.

That was the rest of the funeral. Axel sitting and crying, holding my crying brother. It was hard to watch. All I wanted to do was tell them to move on, to just live their lives. But I couldn't. So I sat there and watched the two people I loved most suffer and I wondered if I had been sent to hell.

~0~

It was finally over. Everyone hugged and wiped their eyes and got in their cars and drove away. Everyone except Axel. He smiled sadly and hugged my parents. He waved at our friends who looked back at him with worry. He patted my brother's shoulder and hugged him tightly. And then everyone was gone. He walked back to the grave and stared down at it. He didn't know what to say. He cried silently.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye." He whispered and sat down on the grass. It was too sunny for such a sad day. Everything was lit up, so bright, almost to the point of being on fire. "I didn't get to tell you..." I begged him to keep talking but he didn't. He just sat there on top of me, me buried beneath the grass and dirt. Of course he sat there. I never got to be on top.

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First chapter. Like or dislike? In case you can't tell, Roxas is the narrator of the story from afterlife/the beyond/heaven/whatever you'd like to call it. So please review and lemme know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is seriously short so I apologize but here's how things are going to go as far as I've planned by which I mean everything could change in a minute haha. But anyways! Odd numbered chapters = present time. Even numbered chapters = memories. The whole memory chapter will always be in italics just in case you guys forget or something or I forget and blah blah please enjoy!

_

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Blood shot eyes scanned the room and looked desperately for another drink. The music was too loud, he could feel it in his chest, echoing back and forth in his hollow cavity where his heart was supposed to be. Axel was completely convinced that he had no heart. He couldn't. It had been crushed and broken and trampled and destroyed so many times before that it was just nonexistent now. It was a game he played inside his head, telling himself he was missing a vital organ. He smirked at these thoughts mindlessly running through his head while it pounded from the music. He groaned and glared at the DJ who turned it down a little, not wanting things to end up like at the last party where Axel had broken his nose for not turning it down in time. _

_"Why'd you turn it down?" A voice piped up and everyone looked to the corner of the room. A boy leaned back in a chair and smirked around the room. "What?" He asked as he stood and walked to the DJ. "Dem, turn it back up. I was enjoying myself." _

_"Who the fuck are you?" Axel screamed and the boy turned towards him. Axel could've started screaming again, could've knocked this short kid out, could've fucking killed him. But he didn't. Instead, he stood with wide eyes, slowly sobering up as this boy walked closer. _

_"Why come to parties if you don't like loud music?"_

_"I uh..."_

_"If you don't like it, leave." The boy said and smiled smugly before looking at Demyx and walking back to his chair. Axel could feel the music turning back up in his bones and veins, each thump was stronger as Demyx slowly twisted the knob but he barely noticed. He could only watch the boy walk back, turn, smile and sit. He walked over to him. He didn't know what he was gonna say but he would figure it out. He walked quickly over, ignoring everyone watching him. The boy watched him with that same smile, the same soft smirk. "Hi." Was the only response once Axel towered above him, looming and trying to look threatening. _

_"No one talks to me like that. I killed the last guy who talked to me like that." _

_"See, I just don't believe that." The boy leaned forward onto his knees and Axel couldn't help but smirk as he watched the blue eyes glimmer at him. "I think you're a lot nicer than you let on."_

_"Oh really." _

_"Yea. Really." The boy's smirk melted into a gentle smile as he stood, still a shrub compared to the giant red oak before him. He aimed his face up and let his grin widen. "I'm Roxas."

* * *

_

And there we have how Roxas and Axel met the first time! Aw akuroku meetings. =3 Again, quite sorry these first two have been so short but there's just not much substance yet.


	3. Chapter 3

=\ I'm not fond of this chapter but I swear it'll get better. I promise. It's just weird working out all the details right now. Please try ot enjoy anyways! Reviews always appreciated!

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"Um...Axel?" Sora called hopelessly into the forever dark abyss that was the redhead's apartment. The only illuminant was sunlight streaming through the blinds, there were semi empty chinese containers littering the living room, he heard what could possibly have been a dying animal. "Ax?" He tried again and finally came to the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar, but Sora wasn't quite sure if he was brave enough to venture in. No one had heard from Axel in a week since the funeral. Their friends were worried. His parents were worried. Sora was worried too so he mustered up his courage and pushed the door open. "Axel?" He called out timidly and saw a puffy eyed redhead sit up slowly in the bed and rub his tired eyes.

"Roxas?" He asked with exhaustion, seemingly on the brink or the end tail of a hallucination. Sora bit his lip and shook his head.

"No Axel, it's me Sora. I came to...check on you I guess...are you ok?" Axel just nodded and laid back down in his bed, pulling the blanket back over him. "Ax, you gotta get out of bed man. You have to go back to work and school and back to your life." Red hair shook from side to side, burying his face deeper into his pillow.

"No more life..." He mumbled as Sora made his way slowly to the bed and sat down cautiously. He remembered what Axel was like before, angry all the time. Just full of rage. He didn't want to refuel him.

"I know it's hard..." He choked on his words and had to hold back his tears. "B-but you have to get up. People are worried about you."

"Don't care. There's no one left to worry about me. He was..." Now Axel had to stop himself. He was so sick of crying. He felt like the biggest pussy in the world but he just couldn't seem to make himself stop.

"That's not true..." The brunette boy mumbled and looked down at the carpet, rubbing his thumb in his palm. Axel took his face out of his pillow.

"What?"

"That's not true." He said more firmly now and dared to look into those emerald green eyes that seemed to shine even in the darkness of the room.

"Yes it is. I had no one but him and--"

"It's not true dammit! Axel I care about you ok?! You're...important to me and you need to get up and just move on!" He jumped up, clenching his fists and glaring down at the boy in bed. He wasn't a boy though. He was a man and Sora knew it. He should be able to take care of himself, but suddenly Sora felt like he needed to protect him or help him or something. He sat back down and laid his hand on Axel's back and it stung. Axel nearly screamed out in pain when flesh touched flesh. He squeezed his eyes shut. His touch was the same as mine, his brother. When he closed his green eyes, it was like I was right there with him, I was touching him. "Get up...please get up. Come on...I'll buy you coffee. Want some coffee?" Sora asked in a childish voice and Axel could feel his lips turning up slightly though his eyes were still sealed shut with pain, holding back tears.

"Yea...yea, alright. Let's go get coffee."

~0~

Axel walked out of his bedroom, having reluctantly and slowly pulled on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to let his eyes adjust to the sunlight that had been brought in by Sora.

"Hey! Look who's dressed!"

"I'm not five Sora."

"I know but I thought maybe encouragement would help." Sora shrugged, his hands meeting behind his head as he grinned, covering up his own sadness, still feeling the need to be strong for Axel.

"Do we really need--"

"Yes, yes you really need to leave this apartment." Sora walked closer and quickly overcame his fear and grabbed Axel's hand, turning even quicker towards the door and started to drag him out. The redhead smirked lightly.

"I don't have my car keys." Axel grumbled after they were out the door and Sora waved his hand around in the air in dismissal.

"I'll drive."

"I don't like being passenger..."

"Can't be in control all the time buddy."

"Obviously." Axel said bitterly and Sora immediately felt like an ass. The redhead was well aware that he couldn't be in control all the time, otherwise I'd still be around.

"Axel..." Sora started but decided against it, shaking his head lightly as he opened the car door for the other guy. Axel looked down at the significantly shorter boy and smirked openly for the first time in weeks.

"Well well, I feel like such a lady."

"As damn well you should." Sora grinned as the redhead sat down and he closed the door behind him patiently.

~0~

The awkward silence enveloped them, air-tight sealing them from the rest of the restaurant. Axel stared into his black cup and wondered silently if he could somehow overdose on cups of coffee. Sora watched Axel with sad eyes, not knowing what to say, what else to do.

"You know...someday...you're going to _have _to leave him in the past."

"I don't want to Sora...he was the only person who's ever _really_ mattered to me. I lost everything, everyone who mattered when I was so young that I just didn't care anymore. It made me hard but then I met him and...I dunno. He fixed it."

"I know it's hard. I know you miss him. But someday...someday you'll be ready. I know you will."

"How. how could you possibly know that."

"Because...you're the strongest person I know. You always have been. But you're also the kindest and most generous. No one expects you to be kind and generous and everything else you are but you are. Besides being strong and rebellious and whatever, you're just a good person."

"Good people don't deserve this. This is punishment for everything I've done."

"No it's not Axel. It was just an accident. No one saw it coming! No one could!"

"I should've. I was there. I could've stopped it."

"No. Axel no. This isn't your fault. It's not anyones fault really...it was just the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Well then I shouldn't have taken him over there. He didn't even want to go to the fucking party. But I insisted like an asshole because that's what I am."

"Axel shut the fuck up." Sora glared at the now shocked redhead. "Just shut up! This. Was. Not. Your. Fault. It was a fucking car accident. It was some idiot running a red light because he didn't see anyone coming and Roxas crossing the street a second too soon."

"But that's it Sora! It was literally a second! Because of me! If I had been paying attention, it wouldn't have happened. I was lighting a fucking cigarette and if I hadn't been, I could've pulled him back and--" He stopped once he felt flesh on flesh again. He looked at Sora's hand laid on top of his and then into the saddening blue eyes before him. He just nodded and shut up for now. The touch didn't hurt as bad this time.

* * *

Again. Bad. I know. =\ But alas, it is 4:30 in the morning and I just had to finish it. I wanted to crank out some details on what happened to Roxas finally.


	4. Chapter 4

I actually kinda like this chapter. I'm thinking the Axel/Roxas memories might be my favorite part of this story, not that the Axel/Sora present timing won't be good/interesting...maybe. As long as I write it well I guess. Or at least try? Now I'm rambling, please enjoy!

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"Is there a reason you're following me?" Roxas asked as he turned around to stare at the redhead._

_"I...wasn't. I'm just getting a drink." Axel said with surprise, his blood shot eyes having become much less red in the last hour. He had dropped the liquor for the evening, having switched to water once his eyes met with those blue ones. He had suddenly not felt like drinking anymore that night. _

_"Uh huh." Roxas said smugly and turned back around, going back into the kitchen. _

_"You said you're Roxas right?"_

_"Right, and you're Axel. Residential badass."_

_"I wouldn't say that."_

_"Oh really. Everyone else would." He turned around again and leaned against the doorway. "I've heard about you." He added as he arms lazily raised up and crossed. _

_"Go figure." Axel rolled his eyes and walked past and straight for the bottles of water. "It's all bad I'm assuming?" He asked between gulps. _

_"Well, people are scared of you. Is that bad?"_

_"Depends on how you look at it." They watched each other silently, a smirk staining the redhead's face, a gentle smile on the other boy's. _

_"I'm not scared of you." Roxas said boldly and Axel chuckled. _

_"Good." He replied and took a step closer. Roxas' face started to turn slightly red. He had never been bold like this before. He wasn't exactly sure what had come over him. "You wanna get outta here?"_

_"W-what?"_

_"Scared now?" Axel asked and stepped even closer, coming almost too close to breaking the personal bubble space. _

_"No." Roxas firmed his feet on the floor but his bent back slightly as Axel came even closer. "I just don't know if--"_

_"Come on. You said you weren't scared right?" _

_"Well yea but I don't really--"_

_"Know me? So come get to know me." He shrugged and Roxas was at a loss for words. His mouth gaped open slightly. "Come on." Axel smirked and grabbed his wrist, dragging him back into the living room. "Hey!" He shouted over the music and everyone stopped. "Does anyone in here think I'm dangerous?" No one moved and Axel rolled his eyes. "Ok, lemme rephrase it. Have I ever been dangerous to anyone who didn't deserve it?" A few shook their heads but still, hardly anyone moved. "Dem?" The blonde looked up from his spin table with wide eyes. _

_"Yea Ax?"_

_"Am I gonna rape or kill this kid?"_

_"Roxas?" Demyx asked with confusion and the redhead nodded. Demyx smiled and laughed lightly. "Uh no. He'll be fine." He went back to focusing on his music. Axel looked down triumphantly at Roxas who still looked like he was in some sort of shock. _

_"So? Good enough?" _

_"Uh..."_

_"I'll give you my guns and knives and all my roofies if you want." The blue eyes widened immensely. "Hey, I'm kidding. Kidding." Roxas took a deep breath. "I keep my guns and roofies at home." _

_"Oh god..." The sandy haired kid groaned and Axel chuckled. _

_"Again. Kidding."

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_

This one's kinda short and basically just a lot of dialogue but so was my Kid chapter earlier. I think I'm just in a talky mood tonight. For the people who are reading both this and The Kid's Got Spunk, can you see the differences in that Roxas and this Roxas? Haha I sure as hell can!


	5. Chapter 5

You know sometimes I forget Roxas is the narrator so if it ever feels like kinda random with the narrator, it's probably because it is haha. At some points it will be very neutral and then Ill say 'Oh yea! It's Roxy!' and then I sprinkle in some personal feelings.

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"Thanks...for the coffee Sora." Axel mumbled graciously, smiling slightly. The boy just nodded as they walked out onto the busy sidewalk of the city. Axel reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He looked at Sora who looked back with a blank expression, a vacant smile. "Just...stay there. Please." Axel asked quietly and Sora tilted his head slightly before realizing why and nodding. He stood as still as he could possibly manage as he watched the redhead's thin fingers tremble as they pulled a cigarette out of the package and gently place it to his lips. His green eyes did another one over on the brunette standing before him, making sure he was still standing there, not going anywhere.

"I'm not gonna move. Just light the cigarette." Sora said with a tiny smile and encouraging nod. Baby steps. Axel nodded lightly and cupped his hand around his face, bringing his lighter up and watching the flame ignite before his eyes and light the tip. He inhaled deeply and his shaking stopped. "See?" Sora said and Axel smirked as he took another drag.

"Am I allowed to hole myself up in my apartment again yet?"

"Nope. I'm afraid I'll never see you again if you do that." Sora started to blush once the words left his lips but Axel didn't seem to notice or chose to ignore it. Sora wasn't sure which.

"So what now then?" The redhead asked as he gazed out at the busy street, cars bustling by endlessly.

"Well...how about...I don't know actually..." Axel just chuckled and casually wrapped his arm around the younger boy's shoulders. Sora blushed yet again, thankful Axel wasn't facing him now. It was obvious what was happening. It had always been obvious, even when I was around. Sora was my brother and we had become accustomed to sharing things. However, there came a point in time when sharing was no longer an option; and the day I brought Axel home, Sora didn't want to share anyways. He just wanted him. He had always prattled on about how lucky I was and how cute and sweet Axel was. I had always just tried to ignore it, knowing Axel loved me. But things were different now.

"Why don't we go see Demyx? He's bound to be uplifting."

~0~

"Dem? Ya here?" Axel yelled into the shop, Sora trailing behind slightly. He had never really gotten to know anyone me and Axel associated with. He had always stuck with his friends, I with mine.

"Yea! Hi! Gimme a minute 'kay?" The bubbly voice yelled from the back and Axel smirked as he started to look through a carton of records. He held one up and tried to show Sora but the brunette was already wandering around the store, looking at things on his own. He was easily adaptable. The redhead merely smirked sadly as he watched him aimlessly peruse. "Hey Ax--Oh god!" Demyx's voice and the sound of glass breaking collided with Sora's loud gasp. Axel rushed to the back of the store. He looked at Sora's surprised face, Demyx's shocked and embarrassed face and the broken glass on the floor. "Oh god...I'm sorry." Demyx mumbled and crouched down on the floor, cautiously picking up the shards. "You just...scared me. You look so much like..." He trailed off and refocused on the broken bits. He gathered them up in one hands, stood again and rushed into the back.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do anything! I just turned and I scared him and--"

"Sor, it's not your fault."

"I feel so bad though..."

"No. Don't. I'll be right back though ok? I's just gonna go talk to him." Axel patted Sora's shoulder and he nodded as the redhead pushed his way through the swinging door, knowing every corner of this shop like the back of his hand. "Demyx?" He called out and heard running water. He walked towards the bathroom and hovered around the doorway. He leaned his arm up on the frame and tilted his head against his shoulder, smiling sadly. "You ok?" The blonde gripped the edge of the sink and nodded staring down into the black hole that drank all the water. "It's eery isn't it?"

"It's not funny." Demyx said with his nasally voice, plugged up from the fast hitting tears.

"Yea I know."

"He looks..._so_ much like him. It scared the shit outta me. I thought that he was back or something..."

"And you thought of zombies?"

"Shut up Axel." Demyx turned to stare sadly at him, his eyes red and glossy. Axel could only laugh lightly. He had been told to shut up a few times today and he was surprised that he could laugh at all. "How could you do it? Spend time with him?" Demyx hadn't meant for it to sound like that which is why Axel only smirked and walked over to the blonde and wrapped his arms around him.

"With great difficulty. But he needs someone too. He lost someone too. He lost his brother."

"I know but I mean...you lost him. You lost someone you loved more than anything." Demyx wiped at his eyes and looked up at the redhead. "I'm sorry. I'll shut up."

"Sounds like a plan." Axel said with a small grin and Demyx couldn't help but laugh. "Come on. Come out and say hi. I'm sure he'll try to apologize to you. He feels bad now."

"I didn't mean to make him feel bad." Demyx said with a frown and Axel only nodded.

"I know." He said and hugged the blonde again. He pulled back and looked down with an arched brow when he heard Demyx laugh.

"Oh sorry. It's just...this is weird ya know? I remember when you were so angry all the time and now you're like Oprah." Axel let his arms drop quickly.

"Never compare me to Oprah ever again." He said with a playful scowl and Demyx nodded with a smile.

* * *

Aw Demy. Aw Sora. Aw Axel. God dammit. By the way, that's probably one of the only real life person references I ever have made or will make in a fanfic which is weird considering I _hate_ Oprah.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry I've been all mopey lately and haven't been feeling up to the task of writing. =\ I'm not gonna get all 'Woe is me! My life is so awful I simply cannot bare to write for it is such a tedious task!' Actually it's a good outlet once I work up the mental energy to do it. I won't let myself be mopey much longer. But I can pretty much guarantee that if I write anything on Saturday, Sunday or even any of next week it's gonna be fucking heart breaking basically so might wanna stay away from those chapters. That will be like fucking mopey Ashley to the max.

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* * *

Roxas sat on the hood of his car, eagerly licking his fist as the salty, sweet, blue goo slowly dripped down. Axel watched him with a small smirk, having passed up on the ice cream himself, for once. The sandy haired boy gurgled with delight and then realized he wasn't alone, smiling shyly at the redhead as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. _

_"Thanks. This stuff is my favorite and...just ya know. Thanks."_

_"It's not a problem." Axel stared out at road before them. "You know that's the only non addictive substance I seem to like."_

_"I dunno. I think I might be addicted to it." Roxas said with a gentle smile before licking the stick clean, making the older guy smirk as he contained all the sexual jokes he could be saying at this moment. Instead, he merely kept them to himself. "So...you're like...into drugs and stuff?" He asked, avoiding eye contact, scared of an onset attack from a crazed junkie. But instead, Axel chuckled lightly. _

_"Yea kinda. That bother you?"_

_"N-no...but I mean don't you worry about dying or something?"_

_"Nah." Axel crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head up to gaze at the dimming stars above. "Death isn't something I worry about ya know? If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. I've got nothing to live for anyways."_

_"What?!" Roxas jumped off the hood of the car, horrified at the prospect of someone being so nonchalant about death. Axel looked at him with wide eyes. "How can you say that?!"_

_"Well I mean I don't. Why are you so up in arms about this?" He smirked at the young guy who was now blushing and rubbing his arm, embarrassed at his outburst. _

_"But I mean...what about your family?"_

_"All dead."_

_"O-oh...I'm really...sorry." Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and sat back down on the hood of the car. Axel watched in silent wonder as Roxas rubbed his eyes and sniffled quietly. _

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Y-yea I'm fine. It's just...I dunno. I'm sorry. I feel really stupid." _

_"Why are you crying?" Axel asked, trying to hide his amusement. He had never seen anyone, especially a dude lay his emotions out so openly. He was oddly entertained and uncomfortable at the same time. He never knew what to do when someone was crying. _

_"It's sad!" Roxas defended his position and looked sadly at the redhead. "Sorry..." He apologized for his other outburst and wiped his eyes again, trying to recompose himself, picking himself back up to sit on the car. He just didn't understand how Axel could function, he tried to imagine what he would be like if his family died and...he started crying again. _

_"Jesus I gotta be honest. I'm not exactly sure what to do in this scenario."_

_"Gawd I'm sorry." Roxas whined and wiped his eyes again. He felt like a complete idiot and knew Axel was regretting taking him out. But instead, what was going through the redhead's thick skull was something completely different. He was only thinking of how no one had ever cried for him before, or his family. He hadn't even cried for his family. He felt sick now. _

_"Do you want me to take you home?" Roxas nodded lightly and slid off the hood of the car again. He walked around to the passenger side, being watched by Axel. The redhead with the now widened green eyes and snap shut mouth looked down the empty street before getting into the car himself. "I uh didn't...mean to make you cry...or anything."_

_"No sorry I dunno why I'm just an emotional wreck. It's like I'm on the fuckin' man rag or something." The redhead smirked and looked down at the kid in the passenger seat, gently wiping his face with his sleeve. _

_"You're sure you're ok?"_

_"Yea, I'm fine. Take a right please?" _

_"Yes sir." It was comfortably silent, Roxas' occasional utterances of directions and remaining sniffles. Once they pulled into the driveway of the two story tudor house with brown brick work and a pine tree in the front yard, Roxas smiled sheepishly at his chauffeur. "This is like a freaking episode of 'Leave It To Beaver' or something." Axel laughed lightly as he leaned forward against the steering wheel, trying to see the top of the house. "What were you doing in my neighborhood at a party like that?" Roxas shrugged. _

_"I know Demyx and he asks if I wanna go to 'em and sometimes I do. So sue me." Axel smirked again and watched the kid get out and walk towards his door. _

_"Hey!" He called out as he rolled down his window. Roxas turned sharply and looked at him in surprise. "I'd um really like it if we could you know hang out some time?"_

_"Isn't that what we just did?" Roxas asked smugly and Axel rolled his eyes. _

_"Well I think we can do better. Like maybe I can start out by not threatening you."_

_"And maybe I can not cry."_

_"I think that sounds like a good plan."_

_"Sure." Roxas said with a smile and nodded. He turned and started to walk again towards his house. _

_"Can I have your number then? That'd make this a hell of a lot easier."_

_"Oh yea!" The sandy haired kid exclaimed and pranced back to the car quietly, soft foot steps treading behind him. He took the other boy's cell and punching in his number. "There ya go." He said with a soft laugh and turned again. _

_"Thanks." Axel said, grasping his phone back, their fingers grazing for a moment, smiling at the other guy. He watched him bounce up his front steps, fiddle with his keys and finally get in. He looked down and smiled at the new entry in his phone.

* * *

_

Bah so many memories. =[ So much twangy indie music making my mood woooorse. Why do I do it? I swear I should like write out the playlists I listen to while I write and then maybe it will be understood why my stuff is so angsty and depressing haha.


	7. Chapter 7

So who else likes it when I go on these updating tangents cuz I do! I don't know why but I seriously like this story. I enjoy writing it. So I hope people like reading it!

* * *

"Sora?" Axel called out into the shop, seemingly empty from the looks of it. But soon, spiky brown hair emerged from around a corner and a coy smile followed. Axel smirked as he led Demyx out by the hand.

"Um...hi Demyx." Sora said and scratched the back of his neck, gazing down at the floor as his face turned a bright red. He tried to hide his face, not wanting to cause any more trouble than he already had.

"Hi Sora! What's crackin'?" Demyx asked with a grin, not even having to try exceedingly hard to be giddy. Though there was still a small amount of effort behind it initially, it was all Demyx's natural ability to be happy.

"I'm really sorry that I scared you or whatever. I just--"

"Hey don't worry! It was all an accident." Sora just smiled lightly and nodded, looking over at Axel who gave him a thumbs up and a smirk. He melted a little. "What do you guys say we go get some food? I'm fuckin' hungry." The blonde smiled brightly and flipped the 'open' sign on the door.

~0~

Sora and Demyx both had to hold their sides from laughing so hard. It felt nice honestly. Sora hadn't laughed this hard in quite a while and Demyx hadn't laughed this hard since...well, since yesterday. It was nice anyways. Axel just chuckled lightly as he finished his story, watching with amusement as the two boy's heads bumped into one another, causing another fit of giggles.

"Oh god. Oh god. My stomach's gonna explode. Axel shut up." The blonde begged as he dug his fingers into his rib cage, trying to physically manage his lungs. The younger boy took heavy breaths to try and fill in his empty chest. As Demyx wiped at his eyes, tears spilling over from laughing so hard, Sora's eyes refocused and locked with Axel's. He immediately looked away, feeling embarrassed at Axel watching him with that smirk of his. "Oh shit." The blonde glanced down at his watch and stretched his arms above his head. "I gotta get back to the store. Almost rush time."

"Rush time?" Sora asked with a confused glance around the small table.

"Rush time is when all the little kiddies get out of school and come straight to the record store. Trying to be musically knowledgeable or ya know. Trying to pick up hot musically knowledgeable guys and gals." Demyx smirked and winked at the younger boy who had a blush slowly crawling across his cheeks.

"Later Dem." Axel said and high fived the leaving blonde.

"I'll catch ya later. You too kid ok? Don't be a stranger!" Demyx waved his thin finger in Sora's face, making him smile.

"Yea, you got it." The blonde patted the side of his face and waved at Axel before leaving the restaurant. The young brunette slid across the booth and stared at his empty plate then finally ventured to look back up at Axel who was looking back. His mouth, at first tight and thoughtful, turned into a sincere smile. "Ok, I guess if you wanna go hole yourself up again you can. I have a feeling you'll come out again anyways."

"You don't know that." The smart ass redhead replied and Sora rolled his eyes as he stood out of the booth. "Where you going?"

"Me? I'm gonna go home."

"Don't go home yet." Axel said in a sad tone, making Sora look back at him with slight surprise. "Please? We can hang out." The redhead smirked gently as he stood up. "We can watch whatever crappy movie you want. Or I'll make you food. Come on. I know you like my cooking." Sora bit his lip and glanced at the door behind them. He was unwilling to let Axel go home alone if Axel didn't want to.

"Alright. Ok let's go. But I'm picking the movie."

"Fine." The redhead said with a smirk as he watched the back of Sora's head, following him out of the restaurant.

~0~

One meal of mozzarella burgers with bacon and two movies later, Axel and Sora sat on the couch in the dark living room, light starting to pour in from the window. It was three thirty in the morning. The brunette looked from the credits rolling on the screen to the redhead looking at him, his head resting on his fist.

"I think I should go now." Sora said quietly and looked back at Axel who didn't make a move, didn't say a word. He could've been asleep but those bright green eyes that shone were the only thing telling Sora he wasn't. "Alright?" He tried to probe a response from him, trying to gain permission to leave but instead he felt lips press against his. It happened to fast and it ended so quickly that he wasn't sure who actually pulled away first.

"Shit." Axel mumbled, rubbing his forehead and leaning down on his knees. Sora stood up almost immediately and looked down at the redhead. He didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. He just left. He walked through the door and down the hall. "Sora!" Axel yelled after him. He wasn't sure what to say or do either however. He just knew he didn't want Sora to leave like that, to think something that wasn't true. He stood up and quickly followed the younger brunette to his car, but Sora was already driving down the street. "Shit." Axel said to himself, loud enough for anyone happening to be close to hear.

Sora's drive home seemed longer than ever. He stared at the road before him, still in pure shock of what had just happened. He pulled into the driveway but stayed behind the steering wheel. His fingers didn't let go. This is what he had wanted. He had wanted Axel since he had first met him. He had never done anything to try and make it happen. He had never wished anything bad to happen so he could make his move. But now it had happened. But it wasn't him Axel wanted. It was still Roxas. It was still me. And he knew it. For the first time in seemingly forever, he cried for a reason other than missing me. He cried for being used.

* * *

Poor Sora. =\


	8. Chapter 8

Holy shit! What's this?! A new chapter of Salty Sweet?! Whaaaaa?!

_

* * *

Axel pulled into the driveway, hesitant to walk up to the door and knock. The whole neighborhood still seemed too cliche and suburban-esqu to him. What would this guys parents think? Some lanky, red eyed, obvious junkie knocking on the door and asking for him. He scratched the back of his head, and sighed gently as he picked up his phone. The redhead wasn't feeling quite up to meeting parents. _

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey, I'm outside. Are you ready?" He heard Roxas chuckle on the other end and felt the corner of his lips turn up in a smile._

_"You don't wanna come to the door?" Roxas asked, smiling as he sat in his room, peering through the curtains to see the car in the driveway. _

_"Not particularly." Axel mumbled and Roxas laughed again. _

_"Ok, I'll be right down." They hung up and the sandy haired boy laughed again as he stood and slipped on his jacket. _

_"Where you off to?" He looked up and saw his brother leaning against the doorway, watching him curiously. _

_"I have a date." Roxas said with a smirk and walked right past him. _

_"Oh really?" Sora replied with a grin and started to follow him down the stairs. "I wanna meet him!" He exclaimed and tried to rush past his brother, straight for the door. Luckily, Roxas managed to catch him before he could bolt forward._

_"No!" He yelled out and blushed when his brother turned around to look at him with shock. "He's not...from around here ya know? I met him at a party last weekend? At one of the parties Demyx invited me to?" _

_"Ooooh." The brunette nodded. "So basically he's a total skeez." _

_"He's not a skeez!" Roxas cried out and Sora laughed at him. "He's not! He's just got some...issues. They're not even issues. He's really sweet and cute." _

_"Ok well when you don't come home tonight, I'll call the cops. What's his name? They'll need a suspect." Sora said with a smart ass look and a tone to match. _

_"Oh shut up you jealous bitch." Roxas replied with a smirk of his own and walked out the door, leaving Sora to stand with a grin and watch, and he couldn't help but notice the driver. The perfect jawline, the bright red hair, the beautiful smile. The brunette shook his head, trying to shake the image from his mind and walked back into the house. "Well hi there." Roxas said with grin and Axel smiled at him. _

_"Hi yourself." Axel revved the engine and pulled out of the driveway with a fleeting glance at the suburbia paradise. "So. What would you like to do today?" _

_"I don't really care." He replied with a shrug and watched the driver with a smile. Axel smirked and nodded as he decided where to go, made a sharp u-turn and sped up. _

_~0~_

_"The beach?" Roxas asked as they pulled into an empty parking lot. _

_"Yep."_

_"I've never been to this one before."_

_"Not many people have. It's kind of a well kept secret." The redhead said with a smile and a look at the passenger. Roxas grinned as he looked out at the empty sandy lot, the dunes rolling in the wind and the waves slowly tumbled onto the shore. They walked across the cement and felt a transformation of the ground beneath them. Roxas couldn't help as he grinned and started running towards the water, pulling his shirt off over his head and unbuttoning his pants as he trotted. Axel watched him with surprise at first, but then smiled and crossed his arms over his chest, watching the boy with amusement. The sandy haired boy dove straight into the ocean and began to paddle further out, occasionally throwing himself back under and looking around under the sea, ignoring the burning in his eyes. Axel walked across the beach and sat in the sand, close to the edge of the water, simply watching the kid enjoy himself. _

_"Well look who's here." Axel rolled his eyes and stood up, ready to face the asshole who decided to impose on his day. _

_"Hey there Terra." He crossed his arms over his chest, and with a quick glance at Roxas who was now standing in the water, watching him in return, he smirked. "What are you doing here?" Terra smirked in return and grinned, looking out at the water and the kid who was slicking his hair back, looking at the two with confusion and starting to walk towards them. _

_"I just came to the beach for a nice day."_

_"I thought you weren't welcome here anymore Terra. Maybe it'd be smart for you to leave."_

_"This is public property Ax. Can't kick me out. I'll just tell the cops."_

_"You're gonna tell the cops?" The redhead asked with a smirk, knowing that that wasn't an option for Terra. "We both know they wouldn't listen to you and we both know that the cops don't really control this part of town." Axel whispered menacingly with narrowed eyes and smirk to match. Terra merely smiled politely and nodded. _

_"I'm just as aware as you are. But that's fine. I'll leave for now. But I'm gonna be back." Terra said and nodded his head in greeting as Roxas came up to them. _

_"Hi." Roxas said cautiously with a glance between the two of them, looking so scarily pleasant. _

_"What? No introduction Axel?" Terra asked sarcastically and Roxas no longer felt that he was actually being pleasant. He looked up and scowled at him. "I'm Terra. And you are?" _

_"Roxas." He grumbled and continued to scowl at him. The tall brunette nodded and continued to smile ominously down at him. _

_"Well isn't that nice."_

_"Get the fuck outta here Terra." Axel's face was no longer fake, his plastic smile was gone and replaced by a glare. _

_"Now now Axel. I don't think your brother would've liked it if we fought." The redhead clenched his fists as Terra continued to smirk at him, the upturning of his lips becoming more and more malicious with each passing moment. _

_"Hey, why don't we go?" Roxas asked simply and quickly grabbed Axel's wrist, pulling him from his anger to surprise. His green eyes looked down at the thin connecting to his arm and then to the boy attached to the hand, a sincere smile on his face. Axel refocused his eyes and nodded. _

_"No. Unnecessary. I'm going anyways." Terra said with a wave of dismissal. "I'll see you later Axel." _

_"Fuck off." Terra just laughed and shook his head as he walked to the parking lot and drove away. _

_"Who is that creep?" Roxas asked with a glare at the car driving away. He looked up and saw Axel smirking down at him and then he realized with some embarrassment that he was still holding onto the other boy's wrist. _

_"Just..some guy." _

_"Oh...an ex or something?" Axel laughed loudly at this prospect and Roxas watched him with widened eyes. _

_"Ha sorry..." Axel mumbled and started to walk back towards the water, sitting back in his place in the sand. The sandy haired boy sat beside him and watched his gaze travel up and down the coast. "Terra's straight. Actually a complete homophobe. That's just why...it was funny."_

_"Homophobia's not funny." Roxas said with an arched brow and Axel looked at him again with a smirk. This kid was too cute. _

_"No you're right." Axel replied simply, not wanting to cause an argument that was unnecessary. _

_"So why does he seem to specifically hate you so much?"_

_"Picked up on that eh?"_

_"More or less." The redhead chuckled. _

_"Remember when I told you about my family?" Roxas nodded and pouted, directing his eyes out at the ocean. "You're not gonna cry again are you?" Axel asked in a trying tone, still smirking. It never seemed to leave his face. Blue eyes rolled and a hand whipped up to smack Axel's shallow chest, but the redhead only laughed. "Well I had a brother. His name was Reno. And Terra was one of his friends. And when Reno died...Terra kinda blamed me for it."_

_"He blamed you?! Like he's convinced you killed your own brother?!" Roxas shouted and Axel cringed at the shrieking, but laughed quietly. _

_"Yea. I mean he's not too far off ya know? I can't say there aren't days I don't blame myself too but he just harbors this complete loathing of me."_

_"Well, why does he think that?" Axel stared out at the sea, trying to think of how to tell him the story he had been ignoring for quite a while. "You know what? Never mind. Don't tell me. At least not right now." Roxas wrapped his arms around his knees, pulled up to his chest and rested his head, watching the overwhelming blueness of the sea try and wash over him. Axel's smirk, if only for a moment, turned into a sad smile and he joined Roxas in watching the ocean as it tried to take him under.

* * *

_

Ahaha. Ok, personally, I'm a fan of Axel and Roxas in this story. Makes me kinda wish I hadn't killed him...well! Tada! Introduction of a new character! Terra, the homophobic friend of Axel's dead brother. He's an ass yes? But if my stories have taught you anything, it would be what? That's right. There's two sides to every story. So what will Terra's reasoning be hmmm? I pretty much promise the next chapter of this will be out sooner than this one in comparison mostly cuz I personally, I can't wait to see what happens between Sora and Axel! Ahh! =3


	9. Chapter 9

Wow. Been a while. In case people have forgotten (which I'm sure you have because I did) Axel kissed Sora and Sora ran away because he was hurt. =(

* * *

Sora laid on his bed for hours, wiping away the tears that slowly seemed to wash over his face. He screamed in his head, raged against the sides, thrashed into the invisible walls of his mind; wanting to be wanted, needing to be needed, dying to die. This pain was intolerable, he had believed the pain of watching Axel and Roxas together was unbearable. He was wrong. This feeling in the pit of his stomach, the taste of Axel still lingered on his lips, obnoxiously sweet, leaving him longing more yet wanting to vomit, like eating too much cheesecake. There was a knock at his door. Sora jumped up and dried his face, praying he didn't look ridiculously red and blotchy.

"Come in." He said with as strong of a voice as he could muster.

"What the hell are you doing in bed dude?! I mean it's--oh. Dude? Are you ok?" Zack paced across the floor, setting himself down on the bed. "Have you been...crying?"

"What? No. Shut up!" Sora cried out and threw his pillow at him, wiping his face again.

"You're sure? Because you sure as hell look like you've been crying." Sora shook his head and rubbed his eyes, sighing heavily as he rested his head against the wall behind him. "Why were you..." Zack said. Somehow he knew being friends with a gay guy was gonna lead to a scenario like this. "Crying? Is it a guy? Do you want me to beat someone up? Wait, I don't know if that's smart. Could that be considered a hate crime? Would I get arrested? I don't know if I'm willing to get arrested for you. But we could do something mean to him! Like ummm--"

"Dude shut the fuck up." The brunette sighed again but couldn't help but smirk gently. The way Zack tiptoed around the whole 'gay' issue amused him. He knew he wasn't exactly comfortable with it, but he knew it wasn't a big deal either. Sure, other guys that Sora knew thought Zack was a homophobic ignorant jackass, but Sora knew better. Much better.

"I'm just trying to be helpful!" Zack insisted and stood up, resting his fists on his waist as he gazed around the room. "Come on, you wanna go meet Cloud for dinner?"

"Not particularly."

"Aw come on. I'll pay for you. We can call it a date." Zack smirked and Sora chuckled as he aimed his closed eyes at the ceiling.

"Alright. Come on lover boy, let's go get some food."

~0~

"What the fuck do you mean you kissed him?!"

"I don't know what I was thinking Rik. I just...I just blanked. I stopped listening to my brain and let something else control me."

"Yea, your cock."

"No not my cock jackass. It sounds corny, but my heart. I let my heart do what it wanted and it screwed me over."

"You're right." Riku took a deep breath and laid his hand on top of Axel's. "That is corny."

"Fuck you." Axel smirked and withdrew his hand, raising it up, summoning a waiter. "Can I get a rum and coke? Thanks." His finger tinkered across his forehead, kneading his brow like dough. "It was stupid I know and I don't know why I did it."

"Well, you like him don't you?"

"What do you mean?" Riku rolled his eyes as he sipped on his screwdriver.

"What the hell do you think I mean? Do you like him or not?"

"Of course I like him. He's a nice kid."

"Ok don't use those words and don't act like an idiot because you know that's not what I meant."

"I know but I don't know! I've never thought about it like that."

"Then why'd you kiss him?" Riku leaned back in his chair, resting his elbow over the back and tipping his drink back with vigor.

"I don't...know. I really don't." Axel put his elbows on the table and pushed his forehead into his hands. His hangover seemed to be coming on early.

"Axel have you considered the obvious? That Sora reminds you of Roxas and you're trying to recapture that with him? Sora's just a mere replacement. I'm sorry to say it but I mean...just try and look at it that way." The redhead sighed and rubbed his eyes roughly.

"That makes sense doesn't it."

"Yea kinda. But it's not like being with Sora didn't do you some good. I've been trying to get you out of that apartment forever and he managed to do it in a day. So maybe I'm...wrong."

"That was tough to say wasn't it?" Axel smirked again, looking through his fingers at the man across the table.

"Shut up. All I'm saying is maybe you do actually like him. Maybe it isn't just because you're trying t replace Roxas in your life and maybe--maybe it's your chance to find out." Riku whispered suddenly and covered his eyes, aiming his gaze into his cup.

"W-what? What are you doing? Riku, what--oh god." Axel looked down into his own drink now. "He's here. What the hell is he doing here?"

"What the hell is he doing here?" Sora whispered and tried to desperately hide behind either of the two buff guys he was with. Zack cocked his head to the side and glanced around the restaurant.

"Hey! It's Axel!' Hi Axel!" Zack called out absentmindedly and cringed when Cloud smacked him in the back of the head.

"Are you serious? What's wrong with you?" Cloud asked with a groan and squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Did you listen to one thing, _one thing_, Sora said on the ride over here?" Zack pouted and rubbed his now sore spot on his head.

"Yea...sorry Sora." The tiny brunette's face was slowly crimsoning as he shook his head, leaning his forehead against Cloud's shoulder like a child.

"Hey guys." Riku said and waved the other three guys towards the table. "Here's your chance. Happy face." He whispered to Axel with a grin as the redhead felt himself slowly sinking into the ground.

* * *

DRAMA ALERT! haha it was necessary. Good golly gosh what is going to happen during this dinner?


	10. Chapter 10

OMG it's Salty Sweet! I'm always pretty proud of myself when I put a chapter of this out. Fair warning. This shit (the basic plot of this chapter) seems like it's coming out of nowhere, but it isn't. The memory chapters don't go in a standard set of time and at some point they might even jump around. So yea. Enjoy!

_

* * *

Roxas sat silently on the couch, staring off into space, feeling his insides slowly start to melt, his stomach slowly start to devour itself. _

Chomp chomp chomp.

_He giggled absentmindedly as he imagined this squishy pink organ inside of him eating itself, slowly munching down on the vital pink tissue to keep it functioning. But the laugh soon died and he returned to merely staring. He could feel it happening to him, he knew he was spending too much time here. Not enough sleep, too much drugs, too much fucking drama. He raised his hand, his glimmering hand, flickering in and out of time itself, and wiped the tears from his face. Roxas managed to stand up and walk far enough to look into a mirror but the reflection staring back at him was just too much. _

_"Axel..." Roxas whispered, his voice hoarse, his throat dry. Big, bloodshot eyes stared back at him, tears streaming down his face. His cheek bones popping out from taut skin. The wan boy standing in front of the mirror wasn't him. "Axel." He tried to call out again, but it wasn't loud enough. Maybe this had been enough. They'd been together four months now. Four fucking months and Roxas was completely absorbed into the redhead's world. The drugs, the parties, the fights, the hate. The hate. He could recall the hate more than anything though the drugs seemed to make a washboard cleaning of his memory every night. When was the last time he'd seen his family? His friends? He couldn't actually recall. Roxas felt like he was being held hostage and he had to get out. He suddenly was strong enough to scream "Axel!" and the boy came bolting down the hall. _

_"Why the hell are you screaming?!" The redhead yelled back at him and Roxas whipped around to glare at him. _

_"I...I had to talk to you..." Roxas whispered, his glare softening as it always did when his eyes met with the green emerald. But he squeezed them shut and shook his head, trying to shake off the image of the junkie in the mirror. That's not who he was. "I'm fucking done." He yelled at the carpet, still scowling at his eyelids. _

_"With what?" Axel asked back but his only response was Roxas violently shaking his head, his shoulders rapidly rising and falling with each struggling breath. "Rox? Roxas." He said firmly and laid his hands on the boy's shoulders. _

_"NO. Get the fuck off me!" Roxas cried out and shoved Axel away before running down the hall and slamming the door when he practically jumped into the bedroom. It was as if it was in slow motion. Roxas couldn't seem to run fast enough, the traction of the carpet slowing him down. He could hear Axel's feet padding down against the carpet behind him, chasing him, struggling to reach out and grasp him. But Roxas gabbed the doorknob first, pushing it closed, ignoring Axel's angry pounding on the door as he rummaged for his clothes. He simultaneously wiped tears and pulled on pants, ignored the slow splintering of the door and opened the window. Roxas ran down the street, knowing that crappy door wasn't gonna stay intact too long. His phone buzzed. Axel. "What?"_

_"Where the fuck are you going?" _

_"I'm going home."_

_"Roxas what the hell is wrong with you?"_

_"I'm gonna fucking hang up on you asshole!"_

_"No! Jesus ok I'm fucking sorry! But what the hell is your problem?"_

_"I can't do that anymore Axel! I don't even know how I _let_ that happen! You think I wanna be a fucking junkie? I don't wanna stay here with you like this. Listen I fucking love you but this is bull shit." Roxas hung up his phone and wiped his eyes again as he waved down the bus. "You going into the suburbs?" And the bus driver nodded. _

_~0~_

_"Dude he fucking left." Axel growled as he paced around his living room, Demyx and Riku sitting on the couch, occasionally glancing at each other but mostly watching him. "He fucking left!" He turned and glared at them. Demyx froze for a minute with fear but Riku merely rolled his eyes. _

_"No shit he left."_

_"What?" Axel hissed, his red eyes scowling at them, coming down from a high. _

_"Look at yourself man! You're fucking wasted on fucking meth! Who the hell wants to be with a fucking junkie?!" Riku jumped up and yelled at the redhead. Axel clenched his fists but didn't make a move and Riku knew he wouldn't. Friends for 12 years wasn't easy, especially with Axel, but he did it. Therefore Axel wouldn't fucking touch him. His fists unclenched and his head dropped, staring at the carpet. "Are you ready to fucking calm down?" The redhead nodded solemnly. "Finally. Put on a fucking pair of clean jeans. You're going to fucking rehab asshole."

* * *

_

Fucking crazy shit! In case anyone missed it, in recap, Axel and Roxas have been together for four months and in that time Roxas has pretty much become a total junkie cuz it's easier for him to get sucked into Axel's world than it is for Axel to change and fit into Roxas' world. But Roxas finally realized how bad it was and wised up and left! But obviously Axel then realized how much more awful it would be without Roxas after having had him. SO what's the answer? REHAB!!! haha ok see you guys next time.


	11. Chapter 11

In case anyone doesn't remember, which is highly possible, we left off with a very awkward dinner setting. PS - I have a new joint account with the lovely .Dance, we're called DancingEnigmas and we have a fabulous Zemyx going on if anyone's interested! Yea, shameless advertising, can anyone blame me?

* * *

"So boys," Riku said with a smirk and glance around the table. "What's everybody drinking on this fine evening?"

"I'll just have a beer." Zack said and cleared his throat awkwardly, slightly hunching his shoulders as if to emulate his masculinity. Cloud merely rolled his eyes as he propped his elbow on the table and rested his chin against his balled fist.

"We get it Zack, you're a manly man. You're just having dinner with a bunch of faggots, you're not one." The blonde said and aimed a lazy gaze in the raven haired man's direction.

"I never said that!" He insisted but Cloud and Riku only laughed. "I didn't!" Zack tried to argue again, but it was too late. Riku was already puffing his chest out, trying to look manlier despite his long, silky hair, girlish smirk and brightened eyes. "Shut up." Zack pouted and waved the waiter over. "Can I get a beer?"

"I'll have a blow job." Cloud said with a smirk. "And a beer I guess." He added with a wink, making the young male waiter blush profusely and bite his lip to try and keep down a smile. "Sora?" But the brunette was too busy focusing on _not_ looking in Axel's direction.

"Sora!" Riku shouted, finally gaining his attention. "What do you want to drink?"

"Oh uh..." He thought for a second, accidently letting his gaze wander and of course, it landed right on the redhead. Sora groaned quietly and hung his head, focusing in on the wooden table. "Long island ice tea." He said and the waiter nodded with a last grin at Cloud before leaving the table.

"That's a heavy duty drink dude. I mean you barely ever drink and--"

"I know what I ordered Zack." Sora said with a slight attitude, prompting Zack to raise his hands in defense. Cloud and Riku exchanged confused glances as Axel was too busy mimicking Sora as he stared down at the table.

"Uhh...so." Riku began, striving to make this whole situation less awkward. If he didn't have to personally deal with it, he wouldn't have cared, more than likely would have found it extremely amusing. But since he was sitting here, he didn't like the awkwardness creeping up around him and nipping at his ankles like hungry puppies. "So Sora! How's school going?"

"Fine." He answered simply, still watching the table but as the drinks came, his ears perked slightly.

~0~

"Know what? This is so fun. I haven't hung out with you in so long Riku!" Sora said with a grin as he sloshed his cup around. Cloud smirked and shook his head slightly. "My gosh! My drink is gone!" The smallest guy at the table exclaimed as he stared down into his now simply damp cup. "I dunno what keeps happening!" He proclaimed as he started to giggle loudly, having to be shushed by a grinning Riku. "Oh shush shush!" Sora said with a quieter laugh and pressed his finger against his lips.

Axel couldn't help but smile gently as he listened to Sora giggling and drunken shouts reverberate all across the restaurant. He peered down into his drink, thinking of me only for a moment and remembering that when I got drunk, all I did was argue. How unfortunate.

"Hey! Hey! Waiter man! Can I get another one of these?"

"Sora, dude, you've already had like five. And those things are just about a hundred percent alcohol." Zack tried to argue but Sora only shook his head like child, pouting and sighing exhaustedly.

"No no no I want more. I _need _to drink." He said with a light laugh but then pouted again.

"Why do you _need_ to drink?" Zack asked only to receive glares from both Riku and Cloud. He immediately regretted it.

"Oh why? _Why?_ Because of him. Duh!" Sora said and scowled as he blatantly pointed at the redhead across the table whose eyes immediately widened.

"Wha--me?" Axel uttered his first words since the other three males had joined their table.

"No shit! You _used_ me!" Sora cried out and threw his hands up in dramatic annoyance.

"I didn't use you!" Axel shouted back. Anyone in the restaurant would have assumed that he was just as drunk as the brunette, but the truth was he had stopped drinking after only his first drink of the night, his plans of drinking away his troubles had vanished as soon as he saw his problem walk through the door.

"Yes you did! You used me because you miss my fucking brother! And you're a creep!" Sora shouted and flung his chair out from beneath him, standing at the table with the three other boys staring at him, anyone else in the practically empty restaurant staring at him. He felt the tears rolling down his face and he angrily wiped them away though, even through his drunken stupor, he knew he looked like an idiot. He wobbled once his anger had passed slightly, feeling his eyes droop wildly and the last thing he saw before completely blacking out drunk was Zack lunging at him to keep him from bashing his head against the table.

"Jesus." Cloud said and rubbed his eyes.

"I think we should take him home dude."

"No shit sherlock." The blonde replied and stood, holding his hand up in apologies to the tables nearby and anyone who bothered to look.

"I guess you won't be needing that long island then." The waiter said with a small grin as he came back to the table, the tall glass in hand.

"No, I'm afraid not." Cloud said with a smirk. Zack rolled his eyes as he readjusted to hold Sora up better.

"Cloud, now is so not the time to try and fuck a waiter." The raven haired man complained with a scowl.

"Oh he doesn't have to try." The waiter replied quickly, locking eyes with a now obviously intrigued Cloud. "I'll go get my jacket." He said with a wink before leaving them. The blonde's eyes pleaded with Zack.

"No no no. We have to take our _friend_ home."

"I haven't had sex in weeks." Cloud complained sternly.

"I haven't had sex in at least two months!" Zack countered angrily.

"Seriously? Why the hell not?" Riku asked with a surprise look, but quickly looked away when the taller man glared at him.

"We have to take Sora home." Zack insisted.

"I'll take him." Axel said, unable to wipe the slight frown from his face.

"I really don't think that's a very good idea Ax." Riku stated as he finally stood and sipped the last of his drink.

"Why not?" The redhead asked, seeming to be honestly surprised. All three guys arched their brows at him, only making him roll his emerald green eyes. "I'm not gonna do anything. Nothing's gonna happen to him. I just wanna help a brother get laid." He said and managed to smirk lightly at Cloud who only grinned.

"Well, I mean, I drove Zack here so--"

"I'll take you home. You're on my way anyways." Riku said with a shrug. The boys all looked at each other, slightly awkwardly until they finally gave up and started heading out into the parking lot. Zack holding the significantly smaller Sora in his arms, Cloud with a grinning waiter trailing behind him.

"Well..." Cloud awkwardly stood for a moment, the boy behind him simply waiting. "Bye guys." He finally finished and parted to his own car, bringing on an over exasperated eye roll from Zack who carefully set his friend down in the passenger seat of Axel's car, looking down at him with slight worry.

"Just...you know take him home and stuff." He said as he scratched the back of his head, looking between the two other conscious boys.

"Zack, I'm perfectly aware of what my mission is." Axel replied with a smirk and Zack nodded gently.

"Yea, he'll do fine. Come on big boy, maybe we can take care of that two month dry spell." Riku said with a grin and a wink making Zack roll his eyes yet again.

"Fuck you Riku."

Axel chuckled as they walked away, setting himself down into the driver's seat and pausing when he looked over at Sora in the passenger seat. He sighed heavily and kneaded his forehead in frustration. On one level, he deeply regretted kissing him the other night, he regretted making things more complicated than it already was; all the regret was just building up inside of him and he didn't particularly like it. But on some other level, he didn't regret kissing Sora. It was a strange feeling, knowing that something he did was wrong but right, ruining everything in the long run, but momentarily solving everything.

"This sucks." He whispered and leaned his head against the steering wheel. Sora whimpered in his sleep and curled into a tighter ball until he sat up in a daze and started gagging. "No no no. Shit." Axel started to panic and search his car for something the boy could throw up in. He finally found an old paper bag that he promptly handed to Sora who even more promptly threw up in it, his body heaving violently with each retch.

"Fucking rank..." He mumbled before falling back against the seat and breathing heavily. Axel only smirked as he grabbed the bag, opened his door and set it down on the pavement.

"That's gonna suck for whoever steps in it tomorrow." He looked over at Sora who was still trying to focus on breathing, his eyes glazed over. "Ready to go home?" The brunette shook his head gently.

"Can you take me back to your place?"

"Wha--why?"

"I hate being drunk at home, it feels..." He paused to gag and then breathe heavily again. "Unnatural." The redhead sighed gently as he started the engine.

"Under one condition ok?" Sora nodded as if to say anything. "Tomorrow morning when you're wondering what happened, when you're trying to figure out where you are, when you sit up and your head swims, and when you see me...don't hate me in the morning ok?" The brunette seemed almost lucid for a second as he held up his head, looked at Axel with a slight frown and shook his head.

"I can't promise that." He whispered hoarsely, feeling tears start to form in his eyes again. This experience was too sobering to handle.

"I don't want you to hate me Sora." Axel said and gripped the steering wheel, staring down at it. "I just...I mean you probably won't remember this, but I just don't want you to hate me."

"Axel, you did the stupidest fucking thing ever. Why'd you have to do that? What was the point?"

"I don't--"

"You did it to make yourself feel better. You did it because--"

"Sora, I don't know why I did it, I just wanted to."

"Well you can't do that! You can't just go acting on whims jackass! Not when they affect other people!" Sora didn't bother wiping the tears from his face now, he was just too damn tired. Axel finally looked over at him and frowned when he saw him. He raised his hand and gently wiped the tears away for him. The brunette closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying not to cry even harder.

"I'm sorry Sora..." Axel whispered as he wiped away the tears, feeling Sora's cheek press against his palm as his neck lost the drive to stay up. "I'm so sorry." He whispered as he pulled the boy closer, pressing his head against his chest.

"I know." Sora said exhaustedly.

* * *

I can't help feeling sorry for both of them. Oi. Why do I do this to characters?


	12. Chapter 12

yay! finally a new chapter! In case anybody can't remember, this is a memory chapter. The last memory chapter was Roxas leaving and Riku forcing Axel into rehab. Woot rejoice!

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Axel sat on the sofa, occasionally fidgeting as he nervously gazed around the room. This was a horrible situation. Sure, the drugs were a bad situation but this was worse, it had to be worse. He sighed and impatiently tapped his fingers against the cushion beneath him. Everything looked so neat, pristine, decent. He didn't belong in a place like this, he belonged back in his neighborhood, back in his crappy little apartment, back with the people who feared him. He was a fucking god there, but here, here he was nothing. The redhead could barely stand it. He tried to breathe but it caught in his chest, seized in his lungs, just stopped. He shook his head, his shoulders, forcing his lungs to take in air._

_"Axel?" His green eyes darted up and immediately spotted the face of the unfamiliar voice. This woman looked kind, her unflinching smile and genuinely happy eyes slightly confused the redhead but he moved on quickly. He nodded at her, trying to smile, plastering it nervously across his lips. _

_"I've heard...so much about you." Her struggle for the correct words were obvious but her smile never faded. _

_"Please don't repeat any of them." He said coyly as he stood and nervously rubbed his arm. The woman raised her hands in silent defense as she sat in the armchair across from him. _

_"They're only good, don't worry." She said as she watched him pace back and forth, obviously uncomfortable in this unfamiliar situation. _

_"Would you like to sit back down?" Axel only shook his head and tried to smile again. _

_"You know there's no reason to be so nervous." She said sweetly and for a second, he felt oddly at ease. _

_"Yea Ax, you don't have to freak out." That smile. That smile made everything wash off of him and he really was at ease now. He couldn't contain his own lips from turning up in a grin as Roxas walked across the room and connected their hands, practically joined at the hip as they sat on the sofa. _

_"So uh...this is Axel." The blonde said as they entwined fingers, ignoring the look on his brother's face as Sora walked into the room. Roxas' mother nodded, a smile still on her pretty, young face. _

_"It's nice to finally meet you Axel. As I said, we've heard a lot about you around here. I'm sorry my husband couldn't be here to meet you right now."_

_"He didn't want to anyways." Sora scoffed as he leaned against the doorway. _

_"Sora." Their mother said sternly, only prompting him to roll his eyes and glower at the corner of the room. She easily turned the charm back on and refocused on the couple in front of her. Axel however was completely distracted at this point. The only thing he could focus on now was Roxas' brother, casting his evil looks at the floor when he knew they were meant for him. _

_He felt uncomfortable again. _

_This was a horrible idea. _

No! no_, Roxas had said, _my family will love you I promise. My family loves everyone. They don't care about anything before, they won't care at all.

_Lies. All complete lies. _

_This woman's smile had to be fake, this missing man had to already completely hate him and this boy, this kid completely despised him. And who wouldn't? He had stolen away Roxas, their Roxas and turned him into something he wasn't. A junkie, a bad kid, some sort of mutant rebel without a cause; and then he had come crawling back home, broken and gaunt. And now Axel had the audacity to come back into his life? What the fuck was his problem? _

_"Hello?" A loud voice rang through the house, completely interrupting his self-destructive thoughts and then there was a man. "Well hello everyone." He called out, another one of those weird, authentic smiles on his face as he looked around at everyone._

_"You must be Axel." He said, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, as if it was some sort of warning. Axel wasn't sure of what he was being warned against though. _

_"Yes sir." He nodded and a million things rushed through his head all at once. Should he stand? Shake his hand? Smile? Try something other than sitting there on his own drowning in his own worthless self pity and crippling fear?_

_"It's nice to meet you." There was no falseness to it, there were no lies with these people. They were all veritable grins and pleasant talk and Axel had never witnessed anything like it before, especially not a family. And just this once, Axel could understand why Roxas was so upset. He remembered watching Roxas cry on the hood of his car and wondering why and now he understood, this awkward sort of comfortability they had as a familial unit that not many were able to experience. Genuinely pleasant people, it was horribly strange but in the most fantastic way._

_"Gee I thought Dad didn't wanna meet him Sora." Roxas said sarcastically and smirked like a smart ass at his brother who huffed as he ran up the stairs. _

_"He's so dramatic! What's wrong with him?" The blonde grumbled as he settled further into the cushion, prompting disappointed looks from both of his parents. _

_"Roxas, you need to be...nicer to him. You know how tough it's been since he and Luxord broke up." The boy's blue eyes only rolled though, obviously trying to convey the fact that he just didn't give a damn anymore. Axel shifted in his seat uncomfortably, feeling strangely close to the situation, as if he was peeping in on a private family moment. He'd never actually seen Roxas so nonchalant about another person's feelings before, that was odder to see than the pleasant parents. _

_"Not my problem." He said quietly as he pouted. This wasn't the same guy who was always helping the drunks at parties, constantly cheering everyone up, the same guy who held Axel's hand through restless nights of withdrawal. His mother only shook her head and moved down the sofa to make room for her husband. _

_"So Axel, what's the plan? How are you supporting my son for the future?" His father asked as he leaned back, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders, dragging her back into the sofa with him. _

_"Wh-what?" He stuttered, his green eyes widening with shock. _

_"That's not funny." Roxas said as he leaned forward onto his knees and glared at his smiling parents. _

_"I thought it was funny. Was that funny honey?"_

_"Hilarious darling." The woman answered with a grin as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, seemingly content in this situation. "Axel, we'd like you to know that...we're proud of you."_

_"Extremely." The man added, a smile still on his face. Axel's eyes stayed wide as he listened to them, watched them look back at him, reflecting nothing that was going through his own mind. There was no hint of sarcasm, no trace of sadistic pleasure. _

_What the hell was with these people?_

_"We're aware we don't know you very well, but what you did...it took a lot of strength. I know. And we're just...proud. We're proud of you for being so strong, for whatever reasons you decided to do it."_

_"A-a friend. My friend Riku kind of uh forced me to do it." Axel had no desire to trick these people, he didn't want them thinking he was better than he actually was, smarter or anything like that. If it hadn't been for Riku finally getting sick of the shit, he never would've quit. Well, not until he was six feet under anyways. And he felt they needed, or at least deserved, to hear it. _

_"Roxas' told us the whole story. We know but still Axel, it takes so much to get away from that. It takes a ludicrous amount of strength to go through that and come out alive and clean on the other end."_

_"Well, I guess it's easier when you have something amazing waiting on the other end for you." The redhead said a little cautiously, softly squeezing Roxas' hand and smiling at his mother. He wasn't sure what the blonde's parents reaction to it would be, but it was more their lack of reaction that surprised him, though he wasn't sure at this point if he should be surprised by anything these people said or did. The woman merely smiled a little wider and nodded as her husband patted her hand. _

_~0~_

_"Your parents-"_

_"Are weird?" Roxas finished for him with a grin, aiming his gaze in his direction. Axel smirked as he leaned against the hood of his car, slowly smoking his cigarette as he stared at the ocean before them. _

_"I wasn't going to say weird, but yea. They just seem really...ok with everything. Everything I've done and been through. I thought they'd hate me." The blonde scoffed as he bent his knees in, bringing them to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them. _

_"My parents aren't really...they can't judge you know?"_

_"And why's that?"_

_"They've been through it." Roxas said as he smiled at the water blatantly ignoring Axel's baffled expression that was pointed at him. _

_"Been through what?"_

_"You know, the drugs, the partying, everything. They weren't always these suburbanites with the steady jobs, nice house, lovely children." He said and broke off in a laugh that carried away in the air. _

_"They had this crap hole apartment in a city a million miles from here and they were a pretty proper combination of you. Everyone knew my dad, everybody. And he didn't take any shit so they didn't fuck with him. And then there was my mother, she was the druggie side of you."_

_"Your mom?" Roxas nodded with a grin as he met his boyfriend's eyes. _

_"Yea, but then she almost ODed once and my dad kinda forced her into rehab and then they decided to move away from everything, get married and do the whole typical family dream thing." _

_"Wow." The redhead said as he tossed his cigarette to the ground. "That's incredible. I mean I've never known anyone who got out of it. And I mean your parents really got out of it." The other boy only nodded silently as he continued staring at the ocean. _

_"Axel?"_

_"Yea babe?"_

_"I love you ok? So don't...don't go back to it."_

_"I won't. I promise I won't. No matter what happens, I'm done with all of that." Roxas smiled and squeezed his eyes shut, nodding as he breathed deeply. _

_"Hey hey, come on." Axel continued as he turned to face the boy, grabbing his knees and dragging him down, smiling at him. _

_"I'm done alright? What do you want me to do to prove it?"_

_"You don't have to-"_

_"Roxas, I want to prove to you that I'm finished with all of that. That I love you and that I'm not just some fucking junkie anymore."_

_"I wouldn't even know. I'll just take your word for it." Roxas shrugged gently and smiled. _

_"What if I move?"_

_"Move? Why would you-"_

_"It'd be easier anyways, probably a good idea, to be away from everyone out there anyways." The redhead grinned as his boyfriend's eyes brightened. _

_"You'd really do that?"_

_"Definitely."_

_"I think...I think that'd be a really good idea." _

_"And Roxas I want you to move in with me. I know we lived together before but I never really properly asked you. Roxas, I love you and I want to live with you. I want you to be there when I wake up, when I go to sleep, when I get home."_

_"Will I ever leave?" The blonde asked with a smart ass smirk, making his boyfriend roll his eyes before pressing their lips together. _

_"Come live with me." Roxas pondered for a moment but finally nodded. _

_"Ok, I can do that." He said quietly through his toothy grin.

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Thanks to -Optomistic Emo Kleptomaniac- for being my beta for this story! Also thanks to CocoaButter for being willing to do it! Hope it was at least kinda worth the wait!


	13. Chapter 13

Oh my! Salty Sweet! How lovely! I'm oh so sorry to -Optomistic Emo Kleptomaniac-, I hope everything's splendid but I could not wait for the editing, I just wanted to get stuff up! Hope everything is up to par and people enjoy it :D

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It was just like Axel had promised the night before, but of course Sora didn't remember that. He couldn't recall the words, the way the redhead had pinpointed his hangover, the wondering and dizziness as he sat up in an unfamiliar bed. He looked around the room, letting millions of things rush through his head. Did he go home with a stranger last night? Would Zack or Cloud let that happen? Had he been raped? Wait, was it good? Had he said yes? Did that still count as rape? If the guy was attractive and Sora wanted to have sober sex with him, would it even matter?

"God I'm a horrible person..." he grumbled as he took into consideration what he was rambling about in his mind. He slowly turned within the sheets, realizing he was lacking pants, but not his boxers. And there they were, crumpled up, half hidden beneath the bed. His body wouldn't cooperate as he tried to strip himself of the bedding, eventually slowly collapsing onto the carpet and sighing as he leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. His head swiveled to the right, watching the unmoving wall and he finally realized where exactly he was. That god damn Smiths poster hadn't been in anybody else's bedroom since 1987. Sora flew up, trying his best to ignore that he felt like his brains were about to burst through his skull, grasping his jeans and pulling them on as he fought off the sheet. Maybe if he could get out quietly? Maybe Axel wasn't home? Maybe there was some sort of chance that god loved him and-

"Sora?"

_Fuck you jesus._

He ignored the taller man in the doorway as he rolled around on the carpet, still trying to get the god damned sheet off of him. What the hell was wrong with this thing? It was some sort of fucking mutant blanket that wouldn't let him go!

"Sora," Axel mumbled as he walked closer, kneeling down, only to be swatted away by the younger man's hand that momentarily gave up the battle with the sheet. "Let me help you dammit." He ordered as he forcibly grabbed the corner of the sheet, pulling it off of him in one fell swoop, leaving the boy flustered and annoyed, sprawled out on the carpet, his pants halfway up his legs. Axel pressed his fingers against his forehead, furiously trying to rub away his headache as he stared down at Sora, still refusing to look at him, still awkwardly casting his glance aimlessly at the side of the room. The redhead smirked, but god knows he didn't mean to. "Want some help up?" Sora ignored his question (of course) and finally forced himself up, planting his hands flatly on the carpet and cringing as he cracked his neck. "You're seriously just gonna sit here not talking to me?"

"I want to..." the brunette mumbled and finally allowed himself to look at the man beside him. Big mistake. His heart seemed to collapse within his chest, his stomach was suddenly in knots, he was going to die. He was sure of it. "But I can't," he murmured, regret simply oozing from him.

"Good," he responded as he rocked back, gently sitting back on the ground, crossing his legs and resting his elbow on his knee, his face in his hand. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Not much," Sora shook his head and let his head fall back against his shoulders, sighing gently. "Axel?" The redhead looked at him with a question on his face. He was just relieved Sora was talking to him, not throwing himself into a rage or a fit of sobs. He wasn't sure if he could handle Sora hating him any longer and maybe this was a sign that they were on the road to recovery. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," he promised absentmindedly. Anything Sora wanted, he could have. Axel just wanted to make him happy at this point.

"I just want to pretend like it never happened..." And now Axel was the one with the sinking stomach, the quickly scrunched up paper heart. "If we can just pretend it never happened...it'd be for the best. I wanna go back to being your friend, to just having fun? That day was _fun_ Axel and that's what I want again. Not the drama or the hurt or anything that kind of came along with this..."

"Yea, I understand." He agreed quietly, silently wondering _why_ he suddenly felt so upset at the prospect of pretending it just never happened. He had wished he could take it back, he had been longing for a way to get out of what he had done and now that the resolve was thrown in his face so casually, he didn't quite know how to feel about it.

"Because I'm going to be honest Axel, I need you. I mean I have my parents, I have Zack and I have Cloud and I even have any of the friends I made through you and Roxas, but none of them..."

"They don't know what it's like...to lose your brother, your twin. Someone who you thought you'd never be able to escape but now that they're gone you just don't really know what to with yourself." Sora tried not to start weeping as he fought off the trembles, his eyes watering up as he nodded at Axel who only looked back with dismay. The redhead reached his lithe arms out and pulled the other boy closer, leaning him against his chest as he had last night, but of course Sora didn't remember that. "We can ignore it, we can do whatever you want alright?" Sora nodded against his chest, sniffling as he finally pulled back, looking remorsefully at the hope that had once been buried inside him. The hope that maybe someday he could be with Axel and it would be amazing, but it was too bad his brother had to die for it. Damn me for ruining just about everything.

"I didn't do anything too embarrassing last night did I?"

"Uh..." He struggled for the words to describe the previous night to him. "You kind of threw a fit in the restaurant and then passed out." That about summed it up.

"Oh god..." the brunette whined as he wiped his face, groaning in annoyance at his drunken stupidity. "Did Zack and Cloud just completely dump me on you? I'm sorry about-"

"No, not at all. If it makes you feel any better, they were both very hesitant to allow me to bring you home, but Cloud brought the waiter home and Riku agreed to bring Zack home. Zack was especially indignant about everything, he's pretty protective of you isn't he?"

"Yea, I'm not really sure why," he admitted as he scratched the back of his head. "I should get going."

"Oh, uh ok, do you want me to drive you home?"

"That'd be nice,"

~0~

"So what's the plan man?" Riku asked from the couch, bending his neck slightly to watch Axel walk through the door.

"When'd you get here?"

"About ten minutes ago," he replied as he looked down at his watch. "Where were you? I was expecting to find you curled up in your bed, possibly holed up in your pit of depression again." Axel glared at him from the fridge, only prompting Riku to roll his eyes. "Sorry," he added as he turned back to the television. "Really though, where were you?"

"I was uh driving Sora home..."

"Really, because I was pretty sure you did that last night," Riku said, his full attention now on the conversation at hand. "Did you _not_ bring him home last night? Because that's what Zack told you to do, I mean that guy did not shut _up_ about Sora the entire ride back to his place. He was pretty significantly worried about that kid and if Zack finds out you didn't bring him home, I'm pretty sure he'll kill you." The redhead only sighed and came to sit on the couch, a cold can in hand.

"He didn't wanna go home, he asked if he could come over here last night."

"He was _drunk_, like pass out drunk. He _did_ pass out. You could've left him in a freaking dumpster and he never would've known the difference."

"He would've this morning..." Axel tried to argue but knew it was futile when he saw Riku scowl at him from the corner of his eye. "He _asked_ me! How was I supposed to say no?"

"Like this: no. Say it with me, no. No Sora, that would be a bad idea, a terrible idea. Nooooooo," he reiterated, as if Axel hadn't heard him, not paid attention, and while it was true that the redhead was trying to block out the oh-so obnoxious silver haired freak next to him, the message was crystal clear. "Seriously, what's wrong with you? Did he wanna kill you this morning? Or did he just...I dunno, cry? Sora seems like a crier, not that it's a bad thing, I just wouldn't know what to do in that situation."

"Well, that's because you're a heartless bastard Riku,"

"I am _not_ heartless, I'm just...bad with emotions? I'm not sure, that's what everybody tells me," he shrugged to dismiss this section of the conversation. "Besides, this isn't what we should be talking about now is it? What are you going to do about the Sora thing?"

"We're not doing anything..."

"You can't not do anything-"

"We can, we're pretending it never happened."

"Oh," Riku tried to fully comprehend what Axel's possible feelings on this could be, but he just couldn't. "And how's that...going for you?"

"You don't have to talk to me about it Riku," Axel smiled slightly, touched at the thought of Riku tearing down his wall if only for a moment to even bother asking, though what he was asking could easily be construed as a non-emotional question. But the redhead knew better. That was exceptionally hard for Riku to ask that.

"So you _asked_ him to just ignore it? That seems kinda harsh dude,"

"No, it was his idea. He said he just wanted to forget it ever happened." And now Riku was at a loss with no clue what the hell was going on.

"You don't seem...happy about this. See, if I was in this situation, I'd be bouncing off the fucking wall that he wanted to forget about it. Because you regretted it so much..." But with a simple glance in the other man's direction, he realized that wasn't necessarily true. The forlorn look that seemed to plaster his face was too much. "You do regret it don't you?"

"Yea, I guess..."

"You don't! Shit dude! This is not an ok situation, you realize that right? You realize that this is not ok?"

"No, I mean I do, but...I don't know. The way he said it, when he said it, I just didn't really know how I felt about it. I wanted to take it back but now I kinda wish he hadn't said that."

"Dude, ok you have to trust me. This is a good idea, he's a genius, you guys can be friends, pretend you didn't do something so fucking stupid and no one gets hurt again. Sora doesn't get _hurt_ again." He pressed, praying to god that for once Axel just got it through his god damned head. But the redhead only nodded, leading the other man to believe that he wasn't listening again. "Axel, Sora shouldn't have to suffer for you to learn your lesson."

~0~

"Sora?" The way the voice rang out through the air, the question of his presence, it sounded like Axel for a second. And he was on the floor of the bedroom again, he was waiting to see the red hair come around the corner of his door and look at him, but instead jet black and muscles entered. "Hungover?" Zack asked with a smirk at the sight of the small brunette, face half hidden in a pillow, only his eyes peeping out above, watching him in the doorway. Sora nodded and pouted against the softness concealing his face. "We have to talk," he said in a more serious tone, letting the smile drop from his face as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"About?"

"What's going on?" His bright, blue eyes could do nothing but stare back at the man sitting on his bed as he pressed his face deeper into the pillow.

"With what?" His voice muffled by the fluff, coming out high pitched and naive. Zack only arched his brow at him and leaned back against the headboard, kicking his feet up on the mattress, shoes and all.

"Fine, we don't have to talk about it."

"Good," Sora said with a sigh as he rolled over, facing the ceiling and squinting at the obnoxious light shining above him. Reaching over Zack's lap, he grasped his sunglasses off the nightstand but before he could use them to his advantage, Zack had plucked them from his fingers. "Gimme those!"

"Not 'til you talk to me,"

"God dammit Zack! I thought being straight kept you from caring about any of this crap!"

"Not when my best friend is in pain," Sora's initial anger resided and he couldn't help but sigh and shake his head as he laid his arm over his eyes. "Ok, now talk fag," Zack quipped and Sora smirked. Nobody knew this Zack and it was nice sometimes. God forbid Zack ever call him or anyone else a fag outside this room, this friendship. Zack would never dream of it, but for some reason, it didn't matter with them.

"You're an asshole,"

"Am not! I'm trying to be sensitive, I'm trying to get you to talk to me."

"Why? Why do you care Zack?" Sora's face still aimed at the ceiling, his eyes still under his arm, his voice low and hoarse from a morning of vomiting.

"Come on, I'm not like this about anyone else. Not Cloud, not my little sister, not anybody. Just you because you're so damn...sensitive."

"I am not,"

"Yes you are, you just won't admit it. And especially with all this stuff about Axel, I know it sucks dude but...I don't even know, what do you want?"

"Nothing, I just want to be left alone and forget about it."

"I know you wanted him but-"

"No, we're not doing this. We're not doing ti because it doesn't matter. We're forgetting about it."

"Sora, he kissed you, doesn't that mean anything?"

"Nope,"

"But-"

"Zack! Stop! Just stop ok?" Sora suddenly threw his arm off his face, snapping out and grabbing his sunglasses. "We're done with this conversation." He mumbled as he slipped the glasses over his nose.

"Sora, that's not the only reason I came over here,"

"Oh so you had another motive besides bugging me?"

"Well, I had three major points in this visit."

"And they would be?"

"I came here to check on you, I came here to see what was going on with you and Axel, and..."

"And?"

"I uh...I came to tell you something important,"

"Oh...oh my god...are you finally coming out of the closet? You totally nailed Riku didn't you?" Sora grinned as he aimed his sunglasses at the other man on the bed, but Zack only rolled his eyes, not even letting a hint of a smile pop from his mouth. Sora slowly sat up, realizing it must be at least semi-serious for Zack to not even smile at a gay joke. He ignored his brain swimming around in his cranium, aching furiously with every move he made. "Did someone die?"

"No, no one died." Zack paused again, it was hard to see but he could tell even behind the glasses that Sora was now exponentially worried. "I got an email from Lux, he's coming back."

* * *

Tada! Drama llama is back in town, let the story progress!


	14. Chapter 14

Holy hell another one already. You guys are being spoiled for liking this story which I have recently had an urge to write! This ones a shorty but it's important. Many thanks to -Optomistic Emo Kleptomaniac- for being a wonderful beta :D

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"Are you ready to go Rox?" Axel shouted through the apartment, his eyes darting towards the mirror and smirking at himself. God damn he was good looking. No blood shot eyes, no thin, ghostly face staring back at him. Just perfect bone structure, nice skin, brilliant green eyes. If only everyone could look as good as he did without all the drugs. "Ready?" He asked as he hung on the doorframe, watching his boyfriend stretch his arms above his head and pout back at him. _

_"I don't wanna gooooo," Roxas whined as he snuggled further under the blanket, pulling the comforter to his chin and smiling coyly at the redhead in the doorway. "We can stay here and stay in bed." He wriggled even further down the bed, curling his toes in anticipation of the yes that awaited him. _

_"Baby we haven't gone out in weeks." He retorted as he walked over and knelt on the floor, resting his arms on the edge of the bed and his chin atop of arms. "Don't you wanna go to a party? See our friends? Your brother? Get drunk and dance and have fun?" The blond only sighed and lifted the blanket over his head, breathing heavily before slamming the blanket back down on his lap and grinning at the man at the foot of his bed. _

_"I don't have pants on," he stated matter-of-factly, ignoring all of Axel's questions. He bit his smile down as he lifted the blanket and took a look for himself, shaking his head with a grin as he laid it back down, smoothing it down patiently. "Now do you wanna go to the party?"_

_"As much as I love it when you don't have pants on, I really think we should go to the party. It'll be fun." Roxas groaned as he threw the blanket to the side and jumped off the mattress, standing with his hands on his hips as he searched the floor for pants. "I love you," Axel said as he wrapped his arms around the man's bare torso, resting his fingers at the edge of his boxers. _

_"Yeah yeah, I know," Roxas said with that impeccably adorable aggravated tone, the one that almost always got Axel to just give into him. Almost was the key word. As much as he would've liked to stay in with his boyfriend for what felt the millionth night in a row, he had to get out of the apartment. He was starting to get cabin fever. When he didn't get out on a regular basis, he started to resent everything. He could never hate Roxas of course, so he started to hate inanimate objects. The sight and gentle whir of the refrigerator would practically send him into a fit. He was a social animal after all, he needed to get out. "Whose party is it anyways?" _

_"It's Riku's party, Riku my dear friend who I haven't seen in weeks."_

_"No need to make me feel guilty." Rox said with a gentle sigh and smile. "Riku invited Sora?" Axel hummed in the affirmative, nodding against the shorter mans shoulder. "Why?"_

_"Because Riku likes Sora?" Axel was slightly taken aback by the vehement tone that escaped the other man's mouth. He had been made fully aware that Roxas didn't necessarily get along with his brother, but now for some reason, it just seemed over the top. The way his voice had changed when he asked why, it seemed out of place. There were always arguments and disagreements, but at that moment, Roxas seemed to legitimately hate his brother. "Is something wrong?"_

_"No, I just don't see why Riku invited Sora is all,"_

_"Come on, Sora's fun, everybody likes him. Did you guys get in a fight or something?"_

_"Don't worry about it," he reassured as he turned around and smiled up at the taller man, gently smacking his cheek childishly. "We'll go to the party, we'll have fun."_

_"That's what I like to hear." Axel smirked as he finally let his arms fall away from the lithe body, walking out and back into the living room to wait patiently. _

_~0~_

_"I don't see why we had to walk," Roxas pouted as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to block the cold air. Axel arched a brow at him as he watched his boyfriend walk a pace or two ahead of him. Roxas was being uncharacteristically bitchy this evening, and Axel couldn't quite pinpoint the reason. _

_"You're sure nothing's wrong?"_

_"Why?" He asked back with narrowed eyes. _

_"You just seem...I dunno, it's nothing. Never mind." _

_"Axel-"_

_"You just seem off tonight, like something's bugging you." He heard him take a deep breath and Roxas finally turned around to face him. "What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing!" He exclaimed with a shrug. "Nothing is wrong, I just didn't feel like going out is all. But you want to, so let's just go."_

_"Well, we just haven't been out in like a month."_

_"So?"_

_"I like going out is all," Axel shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched his boyfriend tap his thumbs against his forearms in aggravation. "We're too young to stay holed up all the time, don't you think?" Roxas only shrugged again, aiming his gaze at the ground of the alley they stood in. He slowly sauntered towards him, smiling as he wrapped his arms around him, kissing the top of his head. "That's fine, you don't have to tell me what's wrong. I'll move on and forget about it and just drink away my problems tonight." Roxas rolled his eyes as he looked up, a frown on his face. "I'm kidding," _

_"No no, it's not that." Roxas' eyes darted to the side as he tried to think of what to say, how to phrase it. "I love you,"_

_"I love you too," _

_"And I'm sorry that we haven't gone out or done anything. I've just been in a funk lately, but I'll break it tonight alright?"_

_"That sounds like a fantastic idea," Axel agreed with a smirk as he entwined their fingers and started walking once more. _

_"Besides, it'll be fun right? To see Riku and Dem and everyone? We really haven't been out in a long time," Roxas admitted with a sheepish grin. "I just...I'm sorry I get like this, I'm sorry for everything that's wrong with me. I know there's a lot to deal with, but I love you so much and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Axel."_

_"You're not going to lose me, babe you're stuck with me for life now." He said with a smile as he pulled his boyfriend closer, nuzzling his face against the shaggy blond hair. "There is nothing I don't love about you, and there is no one, _no one_ who could possibly be better for me." _

_"Yeah, I know you say that but-"_

_"No one," the redhead repeated. In his mind, it was a fact. There was no one who could possibly make him happier than Roxas did. But in Roxas' mind, he knew that he was far from perfect, but he was able to appreciate and adore the way Axel managed to view him as perfect and flawless. As they rounded the corner, leaving the alley behind them and seeing the lights of the city, their hands disconnected. "Gimme a sec, I just want a cigarette." He turned away from the wind, and consequently away from Roxas, to cup his hand over the cigarette. _

_"AXEL!" And with the squeal of tires and a blunt hit, it was over.

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Alright, in case you couldn't tell, this is the night that Roxas dies. I know I kinda left you hanging there at the end, but it's what I do best. And no, this does not necessarily signify the almost end of this story, the memory chapters jump around. So yea, reviews are, of course, always appreciated :)_  
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	15. Chapter 15

I have had this just sitting! I completely forgot I finished it! Yet another one that has not been beta-ed unfortunado. Oy, please enjoy anyways!

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"What do I do?" Sora whined quietly as he buried his face in his hands. His companion merely rolled her eyes as she leaned back and gently patted his shoulder, trying to be consoling but not doing an overwhelmingly decent job. "What do I do?" He asked again, begging for actual guidance, not just compensating physical contact.

"How am I supposed to know dude?"

"You just are!" He whimpered as he leaned against her, plucking strands of red hair between his fingers. "You have such nice hair." He was momentarily distracted from his problems by her lustrous locks. Kairi rolled her eyes and smacked his hand away as she scooted down the bench. "You think I just have a thing for redheads?"

"Hey, I thought we were talking about Brit pants, not hot pants. Now focus."

"I would love to, but you're not being helpful. I need you to _tell_ me what to _do_ about Luxord coming back into town."

"That's easy, stay away from Zack's place for however long he's here."

"But that's the thing. He let me read the email...Kai, I just-"

"Lemme see it," she sighed as she stuck out her hand, palm up, smacking her gum as she rolled her eyes again. He pulled the piece of paper from his pocket, slowly unfolding it and scanning the words another time before placing it in her hand. "Zack...things are getting boring...miss the states...miss my roommate? Indefinite?" She mumbled as she ran through the words, but on the last statement, looked up. "It's indefinite."

"No shit," he snapped as he snatched the piece of paper back, smoothing it out against the surface of the table. "You want me to just stay away from Zack _indefinitely_?"

"Well then..." she paused as she thought, humming in the process. Sora couldn't focus on her at the moment, he was too busy rereading the words for what seemed the millionth time. _Zack, We haven't talked in a while, I hope you haven't forgotten about your favorite roommate. Things are getting boring out here, my family is driving me crazy and just nothing is going all that well honestly. I miss the states, I miss the people I knew out there, I miss my roommate! Don't consider this idle flattery but I do miss living with you, it was strikingly fun. That's why I want to come back for an indefinite period. Would you be willing to put me up? Well, room with me. I, of course, will pay rent. _"I guess you get over it."

"What?" Sora practically gasped, suddenly pulled from his line of thought. "What the hell Kairi?"

"Well I mean I don't know! Maybe you should just get over him. It! It! I meant get over it!"

"You don't think I'm over him?" Kairi bit her lip in anticipation, trying to avoid looking at Sora's face, knowing that mask of pain would break her heart. "I am over him. I _am_ over the asshole who said he loved me and then fucking abandoned me to go back to fucking England!"

"Sor, he didn't really _abandon_ you," she tried to whisper but there was no use arguing with him at this point. He was always hell bent when it came to Luxord and nothing would change his mind. Sora was absolutely sure that if he was faced with Lux again, something horrible would happen.

"I can't see him again, I just can't. And you don't get it obviously, but I can't." The brunette shook his head and sighed as he refolded the paper, slipping it back into his pocket for further viewing later.

"I don't see how you plan on avoiding him. If he's gonna be living with Zack, for an _undetermined_ amount of time, and you see Zack almost everyday."

"I don't really see him every day,"

"Shut up, you do so."

"Whatever, he usually comes to my house anyways. It won't be a big deal."

"Mmmhm," Kairi hummed and rolled her eyes for what seemed the millionth time, just as annoying as the first. "Sora, don't take this the wrong way but I mean you are kind of..." she tried to think of a way to say it without it stabbing like a knife or throwing him into a full blown fit. "Sora, you're a drama queen." Blunt and to the point. Maybe he would respect that. However, his wide eyes, furrowed brow and frown exhibited that no, obviously this wasn't taken with the ease the young woman had hoped for.

"I am _not_ a drama queen." He stated in a firm whisper, almost ironically. Kairi managed to contain her smirk somehow. "And besides, even if I am being a _little_ dramatic, I think I have the right to be! I've had a tough year." Sora pouted, prompting his friend to nod and wrap her arm around him, stroking his hair as he laid his head upon her shoulder.

"It hasn't been a year Sor, it's been like a month." This only produced a small groan and whimper.

"It feels like at least a year."

"I know that losing Roxas was tough, I know the crap with Axel isn't helping and I know that this Luxord shit is kind of like the anthrax coated cherry on top of the garbage sundae, but I promise you'll get over it. Deal?"

"How can you possibly promise that?"

"Because darling, you have me. And you have helped me numerous times over the past couple years and I am determined to repay you."

"Repay me or give me payback? Because I don't think I actually helped that time with Seifer..."

"Don't bring it up again, and there won't be a problem." She smiled at the man in her arms, smiling wider at the thought of considering Sora a man.

~0~

"This is how you're solving your deep emotional problems?" Riku asked as he stared at the ice cream bar in his hand then moved his gaze to the redhead.

"I don't have deep emotional problems...and yes." Axel said as he started biting and chewing, ignoring the freezing in his skull. "He hasn't talked to me all week." He said through a mouthful of ice cream. "I can't blame him I guess, but it'd be nice if he'd answer when I called."

"You've been calling Sora?" Demyx asked, his head cocked to the side as he watched his friend chomp away on ice cream, drowning his feelings in sweetness.

"I call him pretty much every day. Only once, but every day." Riku sighed as he let his wrist fall, the ice cream bar almost falling to the floor.

"You have to stop Axel," He said, shaking his head as he passed his ice cream over to the blond, already done with his own and more than willing to take on another. "I mean, you know what you did right? You realize the severity and the stupidity of what you did?"

"What did he do?" Demyx whispered as he leaned in, obviously completely out of the loop.

"Einstein over here kissed Sora, didn't you?"

"You what?" Dem shrieked with wide eyes. "When did this happen?"

"The day we stopped by to see you at the record store."

"Duuude," he moaned and joined Riku in the head shaking disappointment party. "That was stupid."

"Yes, I realize that now. Have I mentioned lately what great freaking friends I have?"

"Axel why would you do that to poor Sora?" He only shrugged in response. He had been asking himself the same thing lately and hadn't come up with any sort of reasonable response. Axel had no idea why he'd done that. Immediately after, during that horrible dinner, holding Sora in the car, any day afterwards; he had no clue as to why he would have done that. "I mean with everything he's been through lately...he was only trying to help you and you did that?"

"Demyx! I know! Please stop talking!" He snapped his mouth shut, staring at Axel in shock as he kneaded his brow, obviously distressed by the internal and external nagging that wouldn't seem to shut up. "I mean, he said he wanted to forget about it. So I tried forgetting about it and just talking to him, but he won't answer me, he won't talk to me." He sighed and sat back, tossing the gooey stick into the garbage can. "I didn't think I'd miss him this much but he really helped me last week. Helped more than either of you."

"Not for lack of trying," Riku argued with a pointing finger.

"Yeah! One of us came over every day trying to get you to leave your bed, but you just wouldn't do _anything_."

"I think it was just his timing. Sora came at the right point of time, when you were magically ready and now it's confusing you."

"It wasn't the timing Riku, if you or Dem had come by, I would've sent you away like I had been. But there was something...Sora needed me too. I didn't just need him. It was a mutual thing and it was..."

"It was what?" Dem asked, his eyes wide and curious.

"It was nice," Axel admitted with another aggravated sigh.

"Well that's bull. That's just more proof you were using Sora to make yourself feel better, and you don't want to continue doing that do you?" Riku questioned his moral ambitions and his patience.

"No, I guess not."

"No, you definitely don't!" The mulleted friend insisted energetically. "Sora doesn't deserve that and you know it!" Ax nodded in agreement.

"It's not that we don't get it, we do. It's only been like a month and a half since the accident and maybe you feel like it's too soon. Fuck, it probably is but you got yourself into this mess now."

"I know," he concurred willingly. "I just feel terrible about doing this to him. But I feel terrible about feeling terrible about it, like I'm not busy enough feeling terrible about Roxas. Which I feel fucking terrible about still. It's like I'm made of regret at this point and there's nothing I can do about it. I just feel like Rox is looking down on me going 'tsk tsk, you're not spending nearly enough time missing me.' But Sora needed me as much as I needed him and it was...nice."

All three heads shot up as a knock at the door sounded.

"Who is that?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know Axel? I'm sitting at the table with you." He rolled his eyes as he stood, cautiously walking to the door though he wasn't sure why. Riku actually wasn't sure why he was answering the door when this wasn't even his apartment. "Oh, well speak of the devil." He said with a smirk as he stared at the shorter brunette in the doorway.

"Hey, is Axel here?" Sora asked with a questioning glance. He wasn't quite sure what 'speak of the devil' meant, but it didn't sound good exactly.

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen." Riku said as he stepped aside, letting the other man pass by and sending hang signals over his head to the other two in the kitchen.

"Sora," Axel said in quiet shock, trying to tone it down for his benefit.

"Hi, I'm sorry I haven't answered your calls, but I wanted to talk to you." He nervously glanced at the redhead then at the other two, prompting Axel to glare at them until Demyx finally stood, rolling his eyes and joining Riku at the doorway.

"Well, I guess we'll be heading out." Riku called back into the apartment, earning only a single wave from Axel as Sora took his previous seat.

"Is it safe to leave them alone?" Demyx whispered as they lingered at the entrance, still blatantly staring at the two in the kitchen.

"Of course not," he answered as he closed the door, forcing Dem down the hall and into the elevator.

"So, what's wrong?"

"I just, um, I'm sorry, like I said."

"It's fine, I've just been worried is all. Has everything been ok?"

"No, not really," he shrugged and sat back in his seat, watching his companion lean down onto the table and stare back at him. "You know it still doesn't really feel like he's gone. It just feels like he's not here right now." Axel smirked and nodded, knowing the exact feeling, the feeling that his boyfriend was about to walk through the door and smile at him, kiss him hello. "I feel terrible," Sora said as he buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"I just...I feel terrible, there's no other way to describe it. You know the last conversation we had was an argument?"

"About what?"

"Nothing...nothing important. It doesn't matter now anyways. I mean, when he was in the hospital, I apologized and said anything I felt I had to say but of course, he never said anything. He didn't wake up. I know that people tell me I was lucky that there was time to say anything at all, but that wasn't really time. He didn't hear it. He didn't hear anything I had to say."

"Sora, you know Roxas loved you and no matter what you guys fought about, you always forgave each other. It's the nice thing about having a brother. And I know this probably doesn't help, but I'm sure whatever you had to say, I'm sure he knew it already."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Did you...I mean, do you think Roxas knew? I know you were there every day, every night. Just talking to him, but he knew right?" Axel rested his chin atop his crossed arms, watching the brunette across from him. While it was easy to tell Sora that his brother knew how he felt, how I knew how he felt, it wasn't so easy to tell himself the same thing. Axel could barely put into words how much he loved me, there was a slim possibility that I could've comprehended it.

"I think so, I hope so anyways." He said with a sad smile, taking a deep breath as he sat back up. He wasn't ready for this, it was too soon. God damn Riku for being right all the time.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't even mean to bring it up, it just kind of slipped out."

"It's fine, no worries. Why did you come here then? Not that I mind you stopping by, like I said, I missed you."

"You...you didn't say that," Sora mumbled, feeling his face get warm under the circumstances.

"Oh uh, well I did. I missed you the last week. So um what did you wanna talk about?"

"Do you remember Luxord?"

"Brit pants?"

"I should've never let you meet any of my friends," he groaned as the nickname abounded that day. "_Anyways_, that's what I came here to talk to you about. I've talked to Zack about it and I've talked to Kairi about it but I wanted your opinion."

"My opinion about the guy who lives halfway across the world?" Axel asked with a smart ass smirk, only widening when Sora rolled his eyes.

"He won't be halfway around the world much longer. Actually in a week. In a week he's coming back, back here. To live with Zack. Now that he's graduated, he's coming back to the states and I just wanted to know..." Axel felt his heart seize, his breath stop, his entire body freeze.

_No no no too soon. He said he wanted to forget about it and now he's doing this? It's too soon it's too soon. Say something, but don't hurt him. Please god don't hurt him. _

"I guess I just wanted to know if you think I can handle it."

"Sora, I-what?" Interrupting himself mid-sentence, mid-thought, mid-total letdown. That was not what he was expecting. Sora arched an eyebrow as he stared at the obviously flustered redhead, looking completely shaken and put out. "What?"

"Well, I dunno. Maybe it's stupid to ask, but I mean, your opinion is kind of important to me. Like, really important to me I guess. And when Zack and Kairi say I can handle it, I think they're just saying it because they want me to be able to handle it. But if you say it, I think I'm more inclined to believe you. You don't have as much to lose I guess?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I can see that. I guess."

"So?"

"Um, yeah. I think you can handle it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, definitely. You can handle it because I think you're honestly a lot stronger than anyone gives you credit for, or I mean, than _you_ give yourself credit for. You can handle it." He smiled, trying to look like he wasn't still in shock and cursing himself for jumping to conclusions like that. Of course Sora wasn't freaking coming onto him. He felt like such an asshole. "And if it helps, you know, I'll be there when you see him first. If that's what you're worried about."

"Seriously? Ax, you don't have to do that for me. I mean, I just wanted to-"

"No, I insist. I mean you guys will probably have a party right?"

"Zack is having a party but I wasn't planning on going."

"Nonsense, there's no reason to miss a party. I'll come with you and there won't be a problem, sound fair?"

"Um, yeah. That sounds great, thank you Axel."

"It's no problem." Axel was more than happy to go to the party, Sora was more than happy to have him go but both of them couldn't help wondering why the older man couldn't just learn to shut his mouth.

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Oh they're both just so stupid, kinda drives me nuts. Reviews always appreciated! OH YEAH! For the people who read this story and who like akuroku/my writing/are bored? I started a new story! Check it out if you want!


	16. Chapter 16

'Kay, so this one's a tad short I think, but yay for updates at least right? So let's play catch up. The last memory chapter was sort "BLAM ROXAS DEATH" so this one jumps back, like way way back. You'll get it, you guys are smart.

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Roxas was already in love with Axel, he could tell. He could feel it growing inside him and completely swallowing up any logic he once had. It was only a month but he already knew this was the love of his life. Axel was everything he had always wanted, even if some of it, he'd never known he wanted. He was shockingly sweet and understanding, intelligent, funny offhandedly but not in a cruel way. He could be intimidating, but Roxas was constantly at ease with him. Except for certain times. Axel was flawless in his eyes, except for one little thing. The drugs. He just couldn't move past it. He'd heard his parents story before and the blond had no desire to fall into their old routine. _

_"You want some coffee?" Axel asked from the kitchen, pulling Roxas out of his thoughts. His big, blue eyes looked up as he nodded. "Something wrong?"_

_"No, uh no. I'm just thinking is all." _

_"Thinking about what?"_

_"Why are you so curious?" He asked with a smirk, taking the cup from his boyfriend, letting it warm his entire body as he sipped. _

_"I'm curious about everything about you, don't you know that by now?" Axel said as he took a seat next to him, allowing Roxas to lean into him with a sigh and a smile. He had considered many times just asking Axel to quit, asking if it would be at all possible to just give it up, but he didn't feel entitled to make such a request. Sure, he was in love with him, completely, but there was no guarantee that Axel felt the love back. _

_"I've realized this, yes." Roxas said with mild amusement. "So what are we doing tonight? Anything fun?" _

_"Well...we can watch a movie, but I have something I have to do first." Axel said, drinking his coffee as he flipped the channel. Roxas was silent as he felt his stomach tense up. He knew what that meant, he always knew what that meant. _

_"Picking up or dropping off?"_

_"Dropping off." The blond tried to stifle his sigh, biting down on his lip as he leaned forward, placing his cup down on the table. He stood, pressing his hands into his hips. "Where are you going?" Axel asked curiously, one brow cocked. _

_"I think I'm gonna go home."_

_"Really? It won't take long, I promise."_

_"No, it's ok. I should get home, I haven't been there in a couple days."_

_"Do you wanna come with me? I swear it'll be quick."_

_"No, really. It's fine. Do your drop off and I'll talk to you tomorrow or something." Roxas shrugged as he walked towards the door, grabbing his jacket off the rack standing at the entrance. "Just...be careful ok?" He asked quietly as he slipped his arms into the sleeves, pulling the coat around him. _

_"Always careful." Axel replied with a smirk, only inciting an eye roll from his boyfriend. The blond left quickly, practically jumping into his car, speeding away though he wasn't sure why. The neighborhood didn't scare him, the people didn't scare him, Axel definitely didn't scare him, but as soon as he was on his way home, every time, without fail, he would want to get home as soon as possible. So he would push the speed limit, get antsy at red lights, all until he made it to the little suburban paradise he called home. _

_"Hey?" He called out as he walked into the house._

_"Oh!" Sora exclaimed once he saw his brother at the doorway, quickly pushing the other man off of him. _

_"Right, hi Rox." Luxord said breathlessly as he sat upright on the sofa, clearing his throat awkwardly before humming and standing. "I think I'll head out, good bye love." He said with a smile before leaning down and kissing Sora's ruffled mess of hair. _

_"Bye baby," he replied with a goofy smile, crossing his legs and pressing down his knees as he watched the British man leave the house. "Hey!" He greeted his twin happily as Roxas approached him, shaking his head gently. _

_"I'm gonna guess Mom and Dad are not home."_

_"Nope! They went out to dinner or something. Why are you home anyways?"_

_"Uh Axel got busy with something, so I decided to come home for the night. I haven't been here in days."_

_"You probably reek of sex, drugs and skeez, I get it."_

_"Shut up Sora," he said as he rolled his eyes, his head bouncing as it fell against the back cushion of the couch. "We can't all fall for proper British men now can we?"_

_"Fall for?" Sora asked with a grin. Dammit, he was getting more perceptive._

_"Well, date, like, you know what I mean."_

_"Holy shit, you're pretty serious about this guy aren't you?"_

_"Shut up."_

_"No! I have to meet him now! I neeeeeeed to meet the man my brother looooooooves." Sora cooed as he laid his head against his twin's shoulder. "You should bring me to the party this weekend!"_

_"What? No way, you wouldn't fit in."_

_"Whoa, rude much? Are you trying to say _you_ fit in any better in that world?"_

_"Well, yeah. I do."_

_"Oh, yeah, 'cause you're such a bad ass, right?" Sora questioned through a fit of laughter. "I mean come on! We're from the same place, same home, same family, we both know that neither of us really fit into any of that. But I'm friends with Demyx just like you are, I've been invited to the parties, I could've just as easily been boning the drug dealer like you are."_

_"Stop talking like that," Roxas glared, obviously annoyed at his brother's arrogance. "Axel's a lot more than just some skeezy drug dealer alright? So shut up."_

_"Jesus drama queen, I wasn't saying anything _bad_ about your junkie boyfriend, just making observations."_

_"Well your observations are wrong." He said haughtily, picking himself up and quickening his pace to the stairs. _

_"Yeah, whatever." Sora breathed out as he turned the tv on, listening to the sound of Roxas' feet pounding upwards, down the hall, his door slamming. "He's so damn sensitive all the time. Yeesh."

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Hm yeah, Sora's a little cocky ain't he? Just a tad. Anyways, this is obviously pre-Roxas death, pre-rehab, pre-anything good or productive that just about anyone did. Hope it was enjoyed!_  
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